Forgotten First Responders And Stressed Citizenry

I got stuck in some stupid accident traffic jam, had to call in late and so I missed our big meeting

Jelly-rolled an unconscious 330 pound guy out of the twisted wreckage of his shiny, giant pickup

Spilled some coffee on my tie and got so-stressed-out trying to clean it before the customers arrived

Did CPR on a poor little old lady for 20 minutes til she coded – I got so tired I thought it was me dying

Had to walk thru wind & rain all the way from the parking lot and my hair got all wet and messed up

Got face to face with a girl having problems breathing and we found out later we all need TB tests

Hung around work an extra hour again and the wife was mad cause I was late for dinner, once more

Today started 48 hours ago and we had calls throughout both nights but I’ve just got to stay sharp

Suffered thru conference calls all morning - sipping lattes and twerking with my phone

Ground my teeth with every step due to the unremitting pain from my job-induced back injuries

Had trouble getting fired up by our new strategic vision given the clear meaninglessness of our goals

Actually helped out a person during one of the worst days of their life, once again today…

Updated my lame project status, ate customer lunch leftovers & then ducked out 15 minutes early

Repeatedly sterilized the blood and vomit filling our ‘office’ to make way for the next unfortunate

Had to run a couple errands at lunch and was nearly deafened by those stupid sirens

Smacked a tortilla grease apartment fire in the mouth before it could engulf the 15 1-Bdr occupants

Got in a nice nap pretending to studiously ponder a Gannt chart during the after-lunch Sominex hour

Loudly toned out to a possible gas smell at 3AM just after I had managed to finally fall asleep again

Spent an hour piddling with paying off my maxed credit card using my 401K - on company time

Remained thankful I had these 3 jobs I work 96 hours a week that almost keep us in the middle class

Spent the evening enjoying the faux-luxury of my over-leveraged McMansion - by drinking heavily

Shared quarters with the 20 somethings playing videos & games all nite while I worried about my kids

Went straight to my manager when a co-worker got a newer and nicer office chair than mine

Wondered why everybody said they admired what we do, but why we can never find enough medics

Adroitly maneuvered responsibility (and blame) onto another old contractor nobody really liked

Got puked on by that hairy homeless frequent flyer drunk who always smells so badly of urine

Won big at video poker for the entire duration of that urgent project all-hands video conference call

Remembered too late that I had ignored a text from my kid just as we arrived on one more scene

Almost tripped over some useless begging moocher panhandling in front of the office building

Don’t wonder anymore why somebody in so much pain would explicitly beg just for hydrocodone

My poor feet got really sore from wearing those high-heels all day, once again

My body doesn’t know when it’s time to sleep anymore so I just roll with extreme energy drinks 24x7

Had to have whiskeys with the boys to cut the incredible stress of working in the finance industry

Learned that another burned out co-worker took a better-paying days only job in customer support

Was presented a lunch coupon for work on another useless, late, over-budget & incomplete project

Got a nice card from a family I couldn’t remember who we had extricated from a smashedup minivan

Grabbin fer gusto as I smelt them roses

Lost course in the currents of their waving sea of distortions, omissions, exaggerations and halftruths

Had another sudden & lifechanging inspiration as I sucked down the dregs of just one more cold drink

Heard the latest bad news walking the pocked & dirty streets once again, upon these tired old feet

Watched as leaders cagily evaded any blame by offloading all responsibility for their many failures

Tried to skip all the ads but the jingles kept playing inside my head til I soaked them up with vodka

Saw the lights of our great city from a hill, faroff & above all the dirt & noise, inside my ragged tent

Talked to my old dog about the man who had once beaten her so often, yet always so unexpectedly

Found myself once again sideslipping down the steep leading edge of yet another stupid trend curve

Held her hand for just a moment and felt her slip away – well, so much for our being forever together

Realized too late the meaninglessness of all the projects my managers pushed as so vitally important

Swam out past the breakers and saw things differently, rolling up and down on coolblue pacific swells

Just looking at them I had to laugh out loud whenever they told me that I had’nt changed a bit

No longer able to flee the questions that upset me, I blindly swallowed some stale religious fairytale

Safely depersonalized the myriad sufferings of others from the comfort of my couch control center

Felt strangely empty if I was not actively pursuing the latest Gen of our most-must-have-now, eGear

Yes, I traveled thousands and thousands of miles, but darn – I was just commuting to & from work

Grew weary of their attempts to control me with their phony suits and one-way political correctness

Lost sympathy for the truly poor seeing how well the real pros worked the same corners every day

Watched out the window in silent awe as new convenience stores carved up formerly good farmland

Remained convinced I was well above average in all respects - despite my ongoing current situation

Voted straight republican as I seamlessly segued from unemployment to disability to social security

Dinit need no dam obamacare cuz my medicaid and medicare waz always ther fer my family

Made sure I didn’t read too much after seeing what it done to alla them dam scientists and liberals

Learned to relax and get comfortable by twerkin the big screen instead of doin boring housework

Went on a trip Out West & grabbed selfies at everonea them naturel marvelsa this great landa ours

Donno if I was offshored, outsourced, downsized or laidoff but now I’m broke & in early retirement

Waited for weeks for Labor Day but simply could not remember what we done for it - Just last year…

Often derived a blissful satisfaction from my latest purchases - For up to 20 full minutes at a time!

Learned ta hate at the sound of buzzphrases uttered by puppet opinion leaders pushing fake eNews

Slept with my guns and old bible but still feared for the sound of their black helicopters in the night

Bought more than we needed cuz it was on sale: And thoughtlessly discarded half as spoiled leftovers

Grew weary of gumint inactivity, infighting & incompetence even as I grew fatter, dumber & lazier

Tried real hard to make my kids like me - Guess that’s why they’re back livin at home in their 30s

Crammed my head with sports stats and lines from ads and movies cause that’s what really mattered

Grabbin fer gusto as I smelt them roses helped me ignore the black truth athat onrushin empty void

Now I tremble laying here all tubed, knowing life has to go on, but only this time it’ll be without me

Look, All Men Are Created Equal, Really.

We hold this <unsubstantiated> truth to be self-evident…

I am of those tangled family lines raised in public housing by a single parent for some 5 generations

My parents lay in bed reading child-raising books and playing Mozart to me - inside mommy’s womb

My mom didn’t know she was pregnant or cut back on partAing until I was 4 months inside her tummy

Mommie took vitamin and nutritional supplements, had lots of ultrasounds and walked on a treadmill

My dad smacked the shit right out my momma and lefup outta here before I ever seen him

My parents took birthing classes together before I was ever conceived

Cigarettes helped my mother relieve her sufferings from withdrawal during my fetal development

She always killed 99.97% of all the germs in our safe and lovely suburban home

The teachers could see that I was doomed to failure from my earliest school days, so they ignored me

Everyone always assured my family that I certainly was an especially gifted and high-achieving child

I amused my growing brain by peeling off flakes of lead-filled paint to chew upon

I had so much warmth and stimulation that it appeared to them that I grew wise before my years

We got our nutrition from government programs that paid for us to eat from cans and cellophane

My developing mind and body were nurtured by the very best in current pop science nutrition wisdom

I had project TVs and boomboxes pumping rap and ad music into my crib 24x7 that got me my rhythm

My mom drove me to pre-kindergarten classes and play dates starting before I was 3

I was shuffled in with my drunk grannie by social services when mom lost our welfare apartment

I was surrounded and nurtured by grandparents, uncles and aunts all the days of my childhood

Nobody even noticed I needed glasses til I accidentally got my first eye test one day in the 5^th grade

Mom kept me strictly to the various meds they prescribed for the tragic ADHD masking my brilliance

I was chauffeured to all kinds of lessons and sports activities every day after school and all weekend

I learned independence being a latchkey kid whose only parent was off hoin fuh hart drugs

Everyone assured my folks from the very beginning that I would attend a very good college

School stopped working for me once I got pregnant for the first time, in the 9^th grade

I had a pet dog named Tuffie that I still miss to this day

I grew up with rats, roaches, lice, scabies and bedbugs as well as asthma

My slightly crooked smile was repaired for less than $5000

My teeth were soaked in sugar until they all rotted and simply fell out before I ever saw a dentist

We flew off to pricey destinations for all our well-deserved spring, summer and holiday breaks

We stole a car and took a joyride way out to where everbody knew we dinaha no biness

I occasionally mowed our perfectly green lawn for an extra $150 a month spending allowance

They showed me how ta make money carryin bags of whatever stuff around fa them

Now I have these allergies and auto-immune disorders and they say it’s cause I never got dirty

Shivved an enemy banger in a prison fight who turned out to be some uncle I neva even knew I hat

Spent 6 years part-Aing to get my degree in Communications and then became this chatty barista

Don’t run the screets nomo cause these bullet wounds left me all limpin an huffin like some old fool

Miyonsa Preverted DEv8s

Them preverted dEv8s are tryin ta take over the goverment just like they rueend alla the schools

Sustainabillies buzzin with they joyless, fat-free hidden agenda all up in our faces, like filthy flies

Hideously brazen LGBTQs stalking our kids out in the streets, on TV and in they smartphones as well

Skinny vegans pushin rotten overpriced organic wedgies over good-od doublemeat bacon cheeseburgs

We're miyonsa not so bright and ignerant republicans who still refuse ta see whos pullin our strings

We even believe we’ll be back ta gettn snowmobiles, jetskis and ATVs on credit from our houses

Just talkin tax cuts, socialism and the EPA, real patriots may get enough votes to keep the 1% on top

We’ll all be drivin tough, new cheap-diesel pickups just as soon as them over-regelaturs gets flushed

Why, them bastards wanna us ta actuelly get outta our vehicles and go like walk around or somethin

Always pushin fat, incompitint, hissy, handicapped, gay, women acolor up front fer them permotions

Wantin to scam us on they overpriced whatever artisun bread, shade coffee, frinch cheese and shit

Seen their goddam squirrelly talk shows before, goin way too detailed and not even raisin ther voices

We stand by our coal-fired thermostats in this righteous war against that costly climate change fraud

Locked onto the Fair and Balanced for guidance thru this vast and tricky liberal media conspirecy

Damn straight that Endangered Species Act has got to go – right along with that unholy, jobkillin EPA

WTF has that overreachin Clean Water Act ever done cept to cost us all abuncha jobs and money?

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Those lame apartment pickup truck cowboys can’t know how good it feels to go hybrid hyper-miling

Why can’t they see they’re killin their kids with candybars, tube steaks, cheetos and Mountain Dew?

They just keep beggin for more money for so-called dEfense while we’re flyin off that fiscal cliff

Guess they’re OK with making less every year and with more tax cuts for the 1% who offshored them

They actually believe that taxing the rich will ruin their own vapid negative savings rate lifestyles

Think that going for free to the ER is what ThE world’s finest healthcare system is really all about

Not afraid of diabetes, high blood pressure or cholesterol, heart disease or obesity, not one damn bit

Expressing true freedom and liberty by waddling about in their lameass fat pickups and giant SUVs

Simply refuse to see how blindly promoting gay, handicapped, female humans of color benefits us all

The rich need their votes but know that they’re really all trapped in that entitlement mentality

Paying $350/mo for phone, internet and HDTV is what it is for the privilege of being an American

But just how do they figure that carrying 27% interest balances on 5 credit cards is prudent finance?

Must fix the deficit but, for the love of god, Don’t touch our social security, medicaid or raise taxes!

And of course we must rebuild our crippled military, why, that’s one thing Everbody can agree on

So, yeah, if they’re too stupid to be eating broccoli already, there’s no point in forcing it down them

They think it’s not fair to pay taxes on the money saved via foreclosure, because they’re still broke

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If you ax me, everbudy needs ta be armed at all times ta put a real quick stop to them cereal killers

The only diet we found that really works is to binge and scratch on Meth til hour teeth turn black

Energy independence means wearin shorts all winter and idlin our P/Us 20 minutes ta warm em up

So, who is it that really profits from our ignorance AND convinces us ta be so damn proud of it?

Just Another Never Could Have Been

It sucks to be a has been, now with all your greatness gone

I hate those could have beens, they’ve wasted real potential

It’s worse to be a might have been, robbed by fate of a rightful chance

But I know I’m a never could have been and it is what it is

The guys who live alone in the glory of their past are simply pitiful

Those who almost made it still have something to look back upon

The dreams the might-haves had, though unfulfilled, are the stuff of stories

But knowing in your heart you never had what it takes is simply black and white

They said we’s all self-evidently created equal

But even from the beginning some fall far behind

And advantages grow larger at ever-incredasing rates

None of that ever mattered to me for I was born a never could have been

It’s hard, having been a star, to adapt to a new and ordinary normal

Too often they simply cannot consider that it may be time to quit

So many do not even know when could be changed to might have been

But for the never could have been life abides eternally in a drab consistency

Uninteresting Fractional Beings

Walmart CEO Michael Duke earned $19.2 million in 2009 while the company laid off 13,350 minimum-wage workers

1 athem 6 Chinese peasants sharing the job aone offshored but entitled and illiterate, ex-firstworlder

A single gallon from the 2000 required to put a pound of poisoned, tortured beef on our family table

The pitiful unbelievers whose lost souls shall never get even a single glimpse of our eternal paradise

That poor, abused little girl, always silently held back by the horrors her uncle embedded within her

Allatha uninterstin and useless species that needta adapta our ordained progress or simply disappear

The 50% of our created-equal kids who just gotta make do with at least one parent missing

Irrelevant worn out and castoff old people staring blankly at their duty to simply get out the way

Vegan halfwits doped up on some totally-divorced from reality New Age SustainaBilly opiate dream

Low level beings like pets which our kids may occasionally torture cause, after all, they aint people

Any of them illegales always slippin around under foot real quietlike, tryin ta steal the resta our jobs

Them yatillions of unintersting sea zooplanktons vainly trying to feed offa our microplastic residues

Whatever halfa-biyon Indians each barely scrapin by on like $1 - Ever hot, dirty and miserble day

The fractionally-human CEOs whose only sense of pain comes from their own pathological insecurity

Robocloned politicians whose morals and opinions can be updated remotely by their donor owners

eHiver zombie drones filling internal vacuums by inhaling illiterate posts and meaningless tweets

Couch-based virtual warrior adventure heroes whose muscles lie flaccid and unused in dull reality

Uninteresting losers, content to live within average means on ordinary jobs - Way too boring for us

All those vapid and loyal fans who make a wonderful life in hollywood possible for their stars…

That 60% fraction or 4.5 billion people in this shiny, hi-tech world who don’t even have flush toilets

Those filthy homeless losers you ignore every day who won’t even try to clean up to look for a job

Bold ruling executives, incomplete except in a 3 piece suit with a crisp white shirt and natty new tie

That 1% who can never get quite rich enough to realize that they already had quite enough, long ago

Fragmentary vampires such as real estate agents, fully alive for just a few minutes - after each sale

Sheep, content to mask insecurity with tired placebos hawked by charlatan, franchise faith salesmen

All those whose existence is not worth consideration outside their tiny dot in some lame sales trend

Dumb, backseat plants and animals lacking either commercial value or aesthetic appeal to humanity

Disposable temporary farm workers who just need to disappear when their thankless slavery is done

Long-persecuted minorities who wont drink their Self-Responsibility Kool-Aid and stop their whining

Those innocent victims of obesity swollen beyond human recognition by the awful bloating epidemic

Former Meth addicts with brains now so fried that they can never again experience normal pleasure

Nearly contemptible mere citizens who can never understand the Police, EMS, Fire or the Military

Passive-aggressive underperformers who survive only due to a bluntly-enforced political correctness

Hapless sports nuts surviving with half their brains given over to meaningless corporate franchises

Snarky hipsters who don’t yet grasp that all old people always look the same, just like all the Asians

Nearly-literate, debt-ridden graduates wasted on jobs that don’t require any higher education at all

Drugged-up shutins whose hidden lives fade a bit every day due to some wasting terminal malignancy

And all that you have learned is but empty noise to them

The world that your father knew disappeared so long ago

Why, the world that you grew up in is now their ancient history

Things you found important are just no longer relevant

Movements that you’ve never heard of create the news today

The future you always awaited now bobs in your fading wake

Glancing into your eyes, all they see is some boring past

Your endless possibilities have quite slowly merged

Today it’s you just sitting quietly, watching their kids now

The latest calls to action are not intended for your ears

Your once unlimited time now reveals a distinct horizon

Presently it hurts just getting up, even after sleeping well

And all that you have learned is but empty noise to them

Your treasured possessions are not even fit to be donations

They’ve never heard of historic events that you witnessed on TV

The work you toiled so long upon is no longer done

Their kids don’t understand any of the stories from your youth

The ideas that molded you are no longer circulating

Your youthful ideals were scuttled quite long ago

Your search for meaning was halted due to falling darkness

Your HappyEverAfter was postponed until further notice

You are the ones now, who are older than dirt

The world as you explain it now turns only in your mind

Your acquired wisdom just makes them smile to each other

Your once cutting edge is now quaint and outdated

Your volunteer labor is not even worth the minimum wage

Now it’s you who they’re making fun of in edgy hipster skits

But you’re keeping real busy just looking for your glasses

And nice people often call you about things that you should buy

They ask who it could be when they see you in those old pictures

Now it’s you waving goodbye as they drive away

You’ve put down your load and become an awkward burden

You’re ready to enjoy life but you’re worn-out, confused and broke

But, Hey: You even try to walk a little, almost every day

It’s they who remember you’re telling that same story once again

And the sun really is too bright for your golden years

First in line, you’re next to go and you’ve already been cast off

Find Myself Bawlin

I’m settin here bawlin by an old radio on another too hot afternoon

I’m still gettin these thoughts of slippin off, now and agin

But, I still aint got no notion tatake it out on nobody else

Lookin back I kin see all we really had musta been nethin

Now that you run off fer good I just got to face it at last

But all I can do is set here and sob a little, all ba ma self

Thought we was goin somewheres, but I’m settin here cryin

Aint having no violent thoughts, no sir, why did you ask?

Just found myself bawlin in this old trailer, onct agin

Got the blues from my momma wayfor she OD’d

Thought together was better, til you went away

Now I feel like it’s all just this like dark and dirty rain

Just seeing this or hearin that gets me all real sad, one more time

Reminds me ahow things were - and they didn’t work out then

So, once more everything all seems quite useless and dreary

Find myself bawling cause bein happy just seems so pathetic

But, I aint cryin for help so don’t send in no preachers

Just settin here whinin by myself, all alone once agin

I never knew I’d be laying here so still

I never knew they were making stuff up to get me mad enough to keep voting for their rich sponsors

I never found it worth my time to exercise, eat right, read, save, learn new job skills or ha! Meditate

I never felt even the slightest need to do more with less or to reuse, refurbish, repurpose or recycle

I hadn’t a clue that my precious faith was actually just another crippling and addictive escapist scam

I never realized I should have really believed in, and maybe even stood up for…something, anything…

I never saw end of life stuff coming so I was totally unprepared when it all-sudden smacked me down

I never knew what hit me so when I woke up I kept asking the same questions over and over again

I never grasped how much I had bet until after I had lost way more than I could ever have afforded

I never really felt their pain though I stood right nexta them thru all kinda their stirrin ceremonies

I never thought of self-acceptance until she told me that she could not love me cause I hated myself

I finally understood that none of us ever has any chance at all and that has made quite a difference

I never knew I had already been taking part in this rigged game, until it was very nearly over for me

I had no idea how short life actually was and especially how quickly it would just deadend on me

I never had a clue how fast time’s current moved us since we were all being carried along together

I never dreamed I’d be considered senile after my blurry life left me in this simplified confusion

I would never have guessed that all I had striven to learn would become either outdated or irrelevant

I never thought I’d be deemed unemployable with 25 years to live and way more debt than savings

I’m sure I couldn’t have known my house wasn’t a personal ATM that would be eternally replenished

I was blissfully unaware that forever and for always was an advertising fairytale spun by slick media

I did not foresee us living with our parents and our grandkids from different marriages for this long

I had absolutely no intention of supporting misogynistic terrorists and inbred sheiks at our gas pumps

I never questioned our living large on negative savings rates via credit cards, rented TVs and liarloans

I never considered for one minute that our HappilyEverAfter wasn’t just up around that next bend

I never saw how patriotic megacorp CEOs were immune from caring what happens to the rest of us

I never even noticed as responsibilities crept up slowly, flowing in all around me, right up to my neck

I was not at all aware I was merely a data point, totally unimportant outside frivolous market trends

I never listened to that tiny voice asking the big questions - for actually, I feared those answers

I took no lessons as my elders disappeared - since I always knew that would never happen to me

I never paid any attention to the losers who quietly kept the wheels on for us all, each and every day

I never felt we could be lost since we all shuffled along so close together, all in the same direction

I never saved cause I always knew to stop and smell the roses, grab for the gusto and live for today

I never had the slightest doubt my precious children being entitled to a better future than my own

I never considered that the issues they trumpeted were only to serve their sponsor’s selfish interests

I never realized I couldn’t remember hardly any of those big holidays I spent so much time waiting on

I never knew I’d be laying here so still and tubed up but with so much yet to do I had not even begun

I found no comfort in knowing that they had to let me go and then they had to get on with their lives

I Got Like A Minute Old Guy

Tho I hardly can hear you for the roar of our present, I see you gesture, are you calling my name?

Certainly you might have something to say, so what can you tell me, I’ve got like a minute today

Surely after all of your time, a wisdom remains, or is it just creaking bones and memories that fade

God knows I never dreamed that I should even listen but now I might have learned just enough to ask

What can you tell me I could carry off a bit better than say, a couple handfuls of dripping water

Is the only real difference between us the short times left before we both have departed for good?

Surely there’s more to your life than medications, dietary restrictions and lost forget-me-not lists

So what keeps you going now, day after day? Did you at last distill some wisdom from out of this blur

Now that you finally escaped from the ratrace, please tell me – What is it that I am still working for?

And, have you at last had time to actually determine whether, in fact, you are coming or going

I thought I should ask you, cause sometimes I’ve actually considered that it all may simply be futile

For the older I get the faster my employers write off my little, but wasted, economic usefulness

What do you say - are there still things I need to see, or do you spend all of your time safe in the past

I know it may take a while but please try to get back to me before your kids warehouse you for good

Did you take anything from those who came before you or should I ignore you too, exactly the same

Wait, I think you might have been saying something but with all of our noise, I could not quite copy

Likely you’ve developed some reasonable conclusion regarding your onrushing eternal disappearance

Tell me of the great lessons you take from all of the nonsense pounded ceaselessly into your head

Never needed your advice on living but perhaps you can give me your take on preparing for departure

Wait, let me lean close, for your voice has grown faint, yet it looks as if your lips may still be moving

Happily Even After MAGA

I did finally get me another job, yup, locked into a 6 month tmp contract they can terminate at will

but after 100 weeks of demeanin and intrusive filin for my rightful unemployment, I am reborn

making half of what I used to and drivin twice as far but, I got this wondres renewal of my self worth

not gettin any benefits until I possibly get on fulltime but I still got a few pain meds left fer my teeth

good thing that old core inflation remains low cause everything that we buy has gone up, out of sight

we do save a lot on home maintenance and yard work since we was forced to become renters again

but I got financial-smart friends who stayed at home years fer free by dodgin in and outta foreclosure

we eat lots of fastfoods cause I hear it’s way cheaper than bakin bread and cookin beans and rice

sure I canceled that expensive car insurance - just as soon as I got my new plates and registration

getting rid of my trash down by the creek cause I aint payin tahave guys come justa haul that shit off

them damn cell, internet and cable bills cost like $300 a month but we caint do without that stuff

dont see how the gumint screwed things up so bad so fast but we just gotta get anybody else in there

got no insulation here so we just keep the heat cranked cuz we all liketa hang in baggy shorts

thank god for Fox exposing socialist plans to expand entitlements and demotivate noble job creaters

why, the people down ta the ER know our kids names but them elitists aim to take away our choices

lookit my diesel pickup boys, got er jacked up, custom wheels, real loud and I only owe like $45000

sicka payin for these stupid public service intrusions about whatever obesity and lameass exercise

if them warshinton jobkillers would just foller our sacred constitution and the blessed free market…

fed up with pukes tryin to nanny us right inta some kinda failed old eurosocialist style frikin beehive

and I got guns, too. Now, I caint afford new glasses but we can go out shooting at a $buck.50 a round

I should pay for they clean energy scams after they stifled our patriotic coal minin & oil drillin..right?

don’t know where they came up with these lies about our kids being like 29^th in world school testing

got a nice bonus outta my 401k last time I was laid off but I aint signin up fer that damn scam again

hafta laugh at them fool greenies tellin me to recycle fer nothin when I got imporent stuff to do

you bet I support our troops and I say we go after allathem idoletres enemy combatants, like say IrAn

happy ta see the feds siftin ever tweet fer terrorist threats but I’m sick atheir interference in my life

aint payin no individul mandate even if they keep raisin my insurance rates ta cover all the moochers

solved this climate change hoax by just turnin my coal-powered air-conditioner thermostat way down

dunno whats wrong with the damn schools but my kids know better than to pay attention to they BS

we aint lettin them push no girly damn ecocars down our throats even though they jacked fuel prices

got 8 months a year a the NFL in HD and listen, that’s about as damn traditional as things kin get

now if we could round up the abortion murderers, gay couples and gun controllers it’d be just peachy

we’re not too proud for food stamps but I do draw the line at Mother’s drug test disqualifyin us

it’s just a damn lie that our standard of living aint the highest in the world and is actually goin down

screw their economic mobility bull, Only in the USA can a guy get ahead just thoo his own hard work

yup, in our Happily Even After alla them Good Jobsa Tomorrow are comin right back here...

right along with the free home equity cash we deserve