Still With You Somewhere Inside

Got up in the cold just to move about alone in the darkness

Crossed high mountain passes on foot to try and get nearer

Slogged thru deeply-frozen valleys as I thought I traveled home

Witnessed sunsets I only wished that we saw together

Almost felt your cool touch when it grew far too hot

Looked up for your hand whenever I tripped and fell

Saw that shapes in blowing clouds helped me find the way

And all that time I knew: I was still with you inside

Lumbered and tripped, dragging my burden

Gestured with foreigners as I tried to reach you

Forded icy streams with you on my mind

Stayed away far too long - And I never knew why

Listened to your voice when I had no one to talk to

Imagined long, clumsily-poetic emails that I never wrote

Shook my head in confusion as I walked alone

Talked to myself on one bad job after another

Stood alone in lines full of couples along with their kids

Stayed by myself in rooms meant for two

Ate many humble meals I had cooked only for me

But at least all the while you traveled with me, inside

Got briefly tangled in lives I could never appreciate

Lost my way totally even though I was headed nowhere

Watched as stars burned in skies that you did not see

Absorbed amazing daylight and gave off some sadness

Helped others sort out singed keepsakes after bad fires

Wore out lots of clothes that were already secondhand

Looked thru frosty windows, from outside in cold darkness

Still, all the while, you were there, with me, inside

Fled from an emptiness to which I must shortly return

Thought I grew wise but actually slowly went blind

Glimpsed you in strange crowds where you’d never be

Wanted to curl up together with you like strands of DNA

Feared for myself thinking you got along fine without me

Gone so long that I stopped reaching for you in the night

Finally realized I did not even know where you were

But, how I always hoped I was still with you, somewhere inside

Our Apartment Cowboy Saint

Yup, He does live right down the hall from us and He’s got a real nice old pickup parked outside, too

Yer goddamn right He votes straight republican And He keeps it locked on the Fox, jest like we do

His teeth hurt as bad as mine so we drove 5 hours ta some free clinic but by 4:00 AM we was too late

And that Guy has some really nice automatic firearms and a valid concealed weapon permit

His mom and dad live with Him, as well as some lady and her kids from acupla her other marriages

Told me that the freakin EPA has got to go and we hafta get the US out of the UN and vice-versa

Said tax blessings fer the rich will damn straight float all of our boats back up an inta the good times

Acourse, liberals are always attackin Him with that junk science and ther woreout socialist agindas

He’s got the bankers backs insteada knockin down their walls cuz He knows theys too big ta fail

And, shit man, He’s always got a cold one in the fridge for any guy stoppin by to watch foopbawl

Revealed aliens tryin ta take over the country as liberals aim ta give away our national sovereignty

Lives by soundbite common sense and faith, not NPR or the NYTimes, so that’s what we’re doin too

He helped us burn down the last abortion clinic in the state and even got a shot off at a fleeing MD

The farkers foreclosed on His house too, but luckily He had already spent alla His 3 HELOCs

Happily, them repo parasites never tuk His busted up boat, ATV, jetskis, snowmobile or dirtbikes

Them illegales stole His carpenter job and He was on unemployment fer 3 years, jest like me

He never wenta college but He sure knows the difference butween junk science and industree studies

Aint no freakin vegan and you don’t see no queer green recyclin box by His front door, either

Sometimes we hear good old country music driftin thru His walls and He’ll commence ta sing along

Told us about the job-killin regelaters working against His father who anyways still blesses America

Skinny as a rail except for a fat little belly, the free clinic says He’s pre-diabetic, just the same as us

Refused ta signup fer no freedim-stealin obamacare tax right along withalla the restaus loyal patriots

Hey, I won $20 on a lotto ticket I bought one day when we went in for BigGulps and Doritos on break

He laughed out loud when theyas talking global warming with some squirmin liberal scientest on TV

Told us our Traditional Family Values™ are at the core of the Newer Testament He’s been workin on

Knows we gotta nuke them Arabs back ta the stone age startin first with them heathen Irainians

Made sure we know that clean air and water are free and our meat animals got no everlasting souls

Well, actually the poor SOB don’t got no more saved up fer His golden years than you or me

Showed us how ta find answers fer any perplexin issue in that Good Book He’s mostly memorized

Somebody seen Him smack a damn Prius real hard with His big truck door over to the mall parking lot

Sure enough He said we was born to be prosperous in this blessed land, if we’ll just keep ta the faith

He’s cullectin SSI too, that’s for sure and He gets all His Chinese stuff down to Wal*Mart jest like us

Said somebody’s gotta stand up ta them godless jihadis and it falls ta us not them squishy Eurolosers

He told the kids ta be grateful fer coal-fired A/C on everonea them recerd hot days we keep havin

He never went to freakin college but He knows they better keep their damn hands offa our medycare

They aint no comprymises in His beliefs and we won’t let no sinful give and take pervert His truth

Find Myself Bawlin

I’m settin here bawlin by an old radio on another too hot afternoon

I’m still gettin these thoughts of slippin off, now and agin

But, I still aint got no notion tatake it out on nobody else

Lookin back I kin see all we really had musta been nethin

Now that you run off fer good I just got to face it at last

But all I can do is set here and sob a little, all ba ma self

Thought we was goin somewheres, but I’m settin here cryin

Aint having no violent thoughts, no sir, why did you ask?

Just found myself bawlin in this old trailer, onct agin

Got the blues from my momma wayfor she OD’d

Thought together was better, til you went away

Now I feel like it’s all just this like dark and dirty rain

Just seeing this or hearin that gets me all real sad, one more time

Reminds me ahow things were - and they didn’t work out then

So, once more everything all seems quite useless and dreary

Find myself bawling cause bein happy just seems so pathetic

But, I aint cryin for help so don’t send in no preachers

Just settin here whinin by myself, all alone once agin