I
got stuck in some stupid accident traffic jam, had to call in late
and so I missed our big meeting
Jelly-rolled
an unconscious 330 pound guy out of the twisted wreckage of his
shiny, giant pickup
Spilled
some coffee on my tie and got so-stressed-out trying to clean
it before the customers arrived
Did
CPR on a poor little old lady for 20 minutes til she coded – I got
so tired I thought it was me dying
Had
to walk thru wind & rain all the way from the parking lot and my
hair got all wet and messed up
Got
face to face with a girl having problems breathing and we found out
later we all need TB tests
Hung
around work an extra hour again and the wife was mad cause I was late
for dinner, once more
Today
started 48 hours ago and we had calls throughout both nights but I’ve
just got to stay sharp
Suffered
thru conference calls all morning - sipping lattes and twerking with
my phone
Ground
my teeth with every step due to the unremitting pain from my
job-induced back injuries
Had
trouble getting fired up by our new strategic vision given the clear
meaninglessness of our goals
Actually
helped out a person during one of the worst days of their life, once
again today…
Updated
my lame project status, ate customer lunch leftovers & then
ducked out 15 minutes early
Repeatedly
sterilized the blood and vomit filling our ‘office’ to make way
for the next unfortunate
Had
to run a couple errands at lunch and was nearly deafened by those
stupid sirens
Smacked
a tortilla grease apartment fire in the mouth before it could engulf
the 15 1-Bdr occupants
Got
in a nice nap pretending to studiously ponder a Gannt chart during
the after-lunch Sominex hour
Loudly
toned out to a possible gas smell at 3AM just after I had
managed to finally fall asleep again
Spent
an hour piddling with paying off my maxed credit card using my 401K -
on company time
Remained
thankful I had these 3 jobs I work 96 hours a week that almost
keep us in the middle class
Spent
the evening enjoying the faux-luxury of my over-leveraged McMansion -
by drinking heavily
Shared
quarters with the 20 somethings playing videos & games all nite
while I worried about my kids
Went
straight to my manager when a co-worker got a newer and nicer office
chair than mine
Wondered
why everybody said they admired what we do, but why we can never find
enough medics
Adroitly
maneuvered responsibility (and blame) onto another old contractor
nobody really liked
Got
puked on by that hairy homeless frequent flyer drunk who always
smells so badly of urine
Won
big at video poker for the entire duration of that urgent project
all-hands video conference call
Remembered
too late that I had ignored a text from my kid just as we arrived on
one more scene
Almost
tripped over some useless begging moocher panhandling in front of the
office building
Don’t
wonder anymore why somebody in so much pain would explicitly beg just
for hydrocodone
My
poor feet got really sore from wearing those high-heels all day, once
again
My
body doesn’t know when it’s time to sleep anymore so I just roll
with extreme energy drinks 24x7
Had
to have whiskeys with the boys to cut the incredible stress of
working in the finance industry
Learned
that another burned out co-worker took a better-paying days only job
in customer support
Was
presented a lunch coupon for work on another useless, late,
over-budget & incomplete project
Got
a nice card from a family I couldn’t remember who we had extricated
from a smashedup minivan
No comments:
Post a Comment