Real Slow ‘Merican Decay

Shyte aint gonna blow up like in yer hollywood blockbusters, civilizations gunna just slowly fade away

Ya wont have ta take the pickup out ta the woods with guns blazin - yu’ll just wither in yer apartmint

Gov’t healthcare death panels aint gonna cum fer gramaw - She’ll just lay there, out of it - fer years

The librals wont get ta give over our precious sovernty ta that atheistic, commonistic UN b4 you go

The roads’ll just slowly get worse and we’ll start boilin our drinkin water and heatin with wood again

The dam vaccinations was just killin off our darlin children enaway, so good-gubye ta that conspiracy

The whtever lektrik grid’ll just slowly shrivel til thers maybe 4 hrs service/day and then only in town

Timesavin chinese household goods wont be so easy ta cum by what with the failin transport network

You proly wont be goin out ta eat 10er12 times a week anymore as yer buyin power is rampin down

They’ll be wheelin you outta the ER without near as much free treatment as you was used ta gettin

Hey, there’ll still be good ole foopawl on the big screen, but you won’t be buyin no latest Samstung

Relax, it aint gonna be no massive catastrophe changin the Entire world like overnight or somethin

Yeah, yer teeth’ll slowly hurt worse and worse, but you’ll stay used to that, what with good old Oxy

And the old ladys growths from the tanning booth…they’ll just keep getting bigger, redder and uglier

Cataracts’ll slowly make stuff looks dim and blurry and stronger readin glasses won’t helpya at all

Meanwhile, yer hypertension, atherosclerosis, diabetes, obesity & COPD will all just silently increase

CorProAg will slowly but very surely poison our bountiful soil even as they destroy its fertility as well

Illiterate illegals and non-english speakin overbreeders will stealthily suk us down into the 3^rd-world

Relax, it’ll be years for your children blame their hopeless situation on your sloth, greed & ignorance

Yup, you can proudly shout ‘This is ThE greatest country on the planet:USA,USA,USA!’ fer awhile yet

Them black helicopturs wont allsudden show up over yer house at nite, at least not for the time bein

Risin sea levels aint gonna take out yer dad’s condo down in flarida overnite er nothin

Tho yer taxes will raise up faster than inflation, yer entitlements will actually shrink, year after year

Political lies will have to keep on getting bigger to cover the reality gap, but it’s a real slow process

We wont be able to afford food inspectors but industry self-regelation will surely keep us pretty OK

Them weathr and GPS satellites will slowly wink out but you’ll still have cell service for quite a while

Yet, freedom loving patriots can smile cuz that jobkillin EPA will simply hafta be cut: Year after year

Oh, but you’ll hear lotsa teeth gnashin over possible smaller increases to our sacred dEfense budget

Slowly, real slowly youll lose yer ATVs, Jetskis, snowmachines, dirt bikes & giant pickups ta crediters

No worries yet, it’ll be a while for it hurts justa get outta bed even after a rare good nite’s sleep

They’ll keep the family in burger fer years by usin formerly non-edible portionsa cow carcasses

Your medicare aint gonna be canceled tomorra but one day you won’t find no doctors who accept it

You can keep on fightin that climate change by twistin yer coal-fired thermostat fer years ta come

And, yup, we’ll still have more nukes, land mines & chemical weapons than allathem ferin heathens

Them toxic wastes aint gonna kill us off even though they will keep on slowly buildin up insidea us

But, one thing that aint never gonna change is ur faith & trust in the absolute trutha that Good Book

I never knew I’d be laying here so still

I never knew they were making stuff up to get me mad enough to keep voting for their rich sponsors

I never found it worth my time to exercise, eat right, read, save, learn new job skills or ha! Meditate

I never felt even the slightest need to do more with less or to reuse, refurbish, repurpose or recycle

I hadn’t a clue that my precious faith was actually just another crippling and addictive escapist scam

I never realized I should have really believed in, and maybe even stood up for…something, anything…

I never saw end of life stuff coming so I was totally unprepared when it all-sudden smacked me down

I never knew what hit me so when I woke up I kept asking the same questions over and over again

I never grasped how much I had bet until after I had lost way more than I could ever have afforded

I never really felt their pain though I stood right nexta them thru all kinda their stirrin ceremonies

I never thought of self-acceptance until she told me that she could not love me cause I hated myself

I finally understood that none of us ever has any chance at all and that has made quite a difference

I never knew I had already been taking part in this rigged game, until it was very nearly over for me

I had no idea how short life actually was and especially how quickly it would just deadend on me

I never had a clue how fast time’s current moved us since we were all being carried along together

I never dreamed I’d be considered senile after my blurry life left me in this simplified confusion

I would never have guessed that all I had striven to learn would become either outdated or irrelevant

I never thought I’d be deemed unemployable with 25 years to live and way more debt than savings

I’m sure I couldn’t have known my house wasn’t a personal ATM that would be eternally replenished

I was blissfully unaware that forever and for always was an advertising fairytale spun by slick media

I did not foresee us living with our parents and our grandkids from different marriages for this long

I had absolutely no intention of supporting misogynistic terrorists and inbred sheiks at our gas pumps

I never questioned our living large on negative savings rates via credit cards, rented TVs and liarloans

I never considered for one minute that our HappilyEverAfter wasn’t just up around that next bend

I never saw how patriotic megacorp CEOs were immune from caring what happens to the rest of us

I never even noticed as responsibilities crept up slowly, flowing in all around me, right up to my neck

I was not at all aware I was merely a data point, totally unimportant outside frivolous market trends

I never listened to that tiny voice asking the big questions - for actually, I feared those answers

I took no lessons as my elders disappeared - since I always knew that would never happen to me

I never paid any attention to the losers who quietly kept the wheels on for us all, each and every day

I never felt we could be lost since we all shuffled along so close together, all in the same direction

I never saved cause I always knew to stop and smell the roses, grab for the gusto and live for today

I never had the slightest doubt my precious children being entitled to a better future than my own

I never considered that the issues they trumpeted were only to serve their sponsor’s selfish interests

I never realized I couldn’t remember hardly any of those big holidays I spent so much time waiting on

I never knew I’d be laying here so still and tubed up but with so much yet to do I had not even begun

I found no comfort in knowing that they had to let me go and then they had to get on with their lives

Happily Even After MAGA

I did finally get me another job, yup, locked into a 6 month tmp contract they can terminate at will

but after 100 weeks of demeanin and intrusive filin for my rightful unemployment, I am reborn

making half of what I used to and drivin twice as far but, I got this wondres renewal of my self worth

not gettin any benefits until I possibly get on fulltime but I still got a few pain meds left fer my teeth

good thing that old core inflation remains low cause everything that we buy has gone up, out of sight

we do save a lot on home maintenance and yard work since we was forced to become renters again

but I got financial-smart friends who stayed at home years fer free by dodgin in and outta foreclosure

we eat lots of fastfoods cause I hear it’s way cheaper than bakin bread and cookin beans and rice

sure I canceled that expensive car insurance - just as soon as I got my new plates and registration

getting rid of my trash down by the creek cause I aint payin tahave guys come justa haul that shit off

them damn cell, internet and cable bills cost like $300 a month but we caint do without that stuff

dont see how the gumint screwed things up so bad so fast but we just gotta get anybody else in there

got no insulation here so we just keep the heat cranked cuz we all liketa hang in baggy shorts

thank god for Fox exposing socialist plans to expand entitlements and demotivate noble job creaters

why, the people down ta the ER know our kids names but them elitists aim to take away our choices

lookit my diesel pickup boys, got er jacked up, custom wheels, real loud and I only owe like $45000

sicka payin for these stupid public service intrusions about whatever obesity and lameass exercise

if them warshinton jobkillers would just foller our sacred constitution and the blessed free market…

fed up with pukes tryin to nanny us right inta some kinda failed old eurosocialist style frikin beehive

and I got guns, too. Now, I caint afford new glasses but we can go out shooting at a $buck.50 a round

I should pay for they clean energy scams after they stifled our patriotic coal minin & oil drillin..right?

don’t know where they came up with these lies about our kids being like 29^th in world school testing

got a nice bonus outta my 401k last time I was laid off but I aint signin up fer that damn scam again

hafta laugh at them fool greenies tellin me to recycle fer nothin when I got imporent stuff to do

you bet I support our troops and I say we go after allathem idoletres enemy combatants, like say IrAn

happy ta see the feds siftin ever tweet fer terrorist threats but I’m sick atheir interference in my life

aint payin no individul mandate even if they keep raisin my insurance rates ta cover all the moochers

solved this climate change hoax by just turnin my coal-powered air-conditioner thermostat way down

dunno whats wrong with the damn schools but my kids know better than to pay attention to they BS

we aint lettin them push no girly damn ecocars down our throats even though they jacked fuel prices

got 8 months a year a the NFL in HD and listen, that’s about as damn traditional as things kin get

now if we could round up the abortion murderers, gay couples and gun controllers it’d be just peachy

we’re not too proud for food stamps but I do draw the line at Mother’s drug test disqualifyin us

it’s just a damn lie that our standard of living aint the highest in the world and is actually goin down

screw their economic mobility bull, Only in the USA can a guy get ahead just thoo his own hard work

yup, in our Happily Even After alla them Good Jobsa Tomorrow are comin right back here...

right along with the free home equity cash we deserve

The Geriatric Question, Final Solutions

    “Nature is cruel; Therefore we are also entitled to be cruel” - Adolf Hitler

At 50 all our workers become eligible for permanent external transfers and lose all promised benefits

It shall be established in court and buttressed by statute that age-related prejudice cannot be proven

Corporate bankruptcies can routinely renege on all pledges made to retirees – with no legal backlash

There is to be no shame associated with selling parents into poverty so that they can get on Medicaid

It will not be viewed as prejudicial to vilify the old for their disproportionate share of medical costs

Politicians ignore the aged at their own peril - until they’re sure they can win without their votes

It is a winning policy to gut social security funding in the guise of a payroll tax cut to win an election

Unlike the fats, blacks and gays, comedians may ridicule seniors in any way and context they see fit

We’ll just ignore all the crime which odiously targets the aged with slick and honest-sounding frauds

One tacit Traditional Family Value™ is that our frayed elders are as irrelevant as that old 20^th century

Nobody needs ever ask how forced retirees will survive for 35 years without any savings or benefits

All shall silently agree that those no longer allowed to contribute labor have earned a duty to die

Seniors must wear easily-identifiable, ill-fitting, out of style clothes at all venues, public and private

The aged may be herded into expensive, gated communities which even they wont label as ghettos

Stubborn old fools who refuse to conform may dine alone on pet food while they freeze in darkness

The pre-funeral health industry is hereby granted access to smilingly drain the savings of our elders

Citizens may politely ignore their limping, half-blind, zombie-like demonstrations for social equality

Their faulty memories are not to be confused with the stressed data overload of our own blurry lives

Briefly mumbling at their expensive IC bedsides shall be deemed good enough to see them off forever

It is proper to drain their time and money as volunteers once they’ve been excreted from their jobs

Oldsters must self-identify by driving too slowly in tiredly-clean cars with right-wing bumper stickers

They shall be gathered together and fed donated food while listening to old music thru hearing aids

They must accept that costly, boring cruise ship tours really are the dream vacations of their lives

Over 60s will be prescribed different, brandname drugs by each doctor without regard to interactions

To cap their abusive medical expenses, the old must forever pay all the never-ending cost increases

After lifetimes funding parent’s social security, their own benefits must go for schooling illegales kids

They shall be convinced that daily slow limping and eating sawdust will yield them long and rich lives

Their non-profit interest groups may sell them out behind closed doors and then lie to them about it

The elderly have no need to understand criminally overly-complex retirement financial milking scams

The government may decimate senior savings by artificially holding interest rates below inflation

TV may smilingly patronize the old, showing them performing formerly simple tasks, Almost normally

Doctors are encouraged to get rich being surrogate friends and family to lonely and decaying retirees

There shall be no guilt associated with warehousing parents grown too burdensome for our busy lives

Geriatrics will be weaned off the entitlement mentality via forced feedings of Personal Responsibility

Seniors must lose their false entitlement regarding benes they were always told that they had earned

Doctors and relatives may discuss a flagging elder in the third person, as if they were not even there