The Pursuit Of A Programmed Happiness

All men are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights…

Living large on credit cards, speeding by in fancy cars and dressing up like we was like movie stars

Asskissing, backstabbing, shoulderclimbing & downkicking my way to that penthouse office in the sky

It’s like this: a trillion totally selfish & blindly greedy decisions per day optimize our collective future

So it is, in the end truly and most importantly as I must always remember: Only and all just about me

Besides, the free market solves all our problems automagically simply by meeting my vanity demands

So, I only need to go for the gusto, live for today and try to stop & smell the roses along the way

Because Hey! God wants me to prosper: Our mega-church preacher told me so along with 1500 others

Anyways, it does seem that I can only measure my happiness by short-term changes to my net worth

The concerns of others cannot not bind me for I was created to pursue my own individual happiness

Some struggle to save the environment or to solve social problems but I was born to get ahead

And I expect the same from all the corporate entities whose stock is creating my retirement nestegg

I’m not interested in their being socially-responsible either but they must maximize their stock price

Don’t care if it’s coal or dogshit-fired, I just wanna be able to twist that thermostat when I want to

I simply must step over these homeless moochers every day on the way to fulfilling my own destiny

Its like, I have no time to recycle now but when I get really rich I may hire someone to do it for me

I tell ya, my ramtuf hemi pickup makes me feel so gooood when it throws off a smoke cloud real loud

No worry if they fall again for my next investment scam - they can go squeal for another govt bailout

Dont see how this whatever national infrastrcture mess has any bearing on the wishes I need to fulfill

When I want a burger I aint got time ta fuss over that like food animal holocaust suppozedly goin on

But, it is good to know that just keeping to our own wants & needs helps bring us all a better future

So, with stirring patriotic fervor, I strive for new cars, mansions, yachts, servants & a trophy wife

And, staying ahead on these measures assures me that I am winning big on the class warfare front

You see I combine my pursuit of happiness with the socially-Darwinian struggle we must all undertake

And I am grateful to companies that continually bring out new products that spur on my noble pursuit

Luckily, just by fulfilling our implanted marketers dreams we help ensure a brighter future for us all

I don’t get all like neurotic worrying about saving the world - Cause I just need to watch out for me

And yeah, I think my dad died happy…he was talking up his new car just 3 days before he left us

I did have to step on a few faces to get where I am but it was all in joyful, self-centered competition

So, we toast ourselves at fine restaurants and enjoy a fleeting sociopathic sense of self-satisfaction

If it’s new, I want it first. If it’s hot, I want the most expensive. If it’s scarce, I want the most.

And its not just about materialism, crushing the competition on my way up also satisfies me deeply

And don’t forget that my happiness also includes the pursuit of relaxing gasoline-powered recreation

BTW, I’m damn sure that the markets will blindly manage any so-called environmental problems, too

You see, simply by chasing my own implanted needs I really do help to make the world a better place

God bless America and our creator-revealed constitutional right to the pursuit of individual happiness

And, happily, I can look forward to an eternity of vapid wish fulfillment, up there in His paradise

Look, All Men Are Created Equal, Really.

We hold this <unsubstantiated> truth to be self-evident…

I am of those tangled family lines raised in public housing by a single parent for some 5 generations

My parents lay in bed reading child-raising books and playing Mozart to me - inside mommy’s womb

My mom didn’t know she was pregnant or cut back on partAing until I was 4 months inside her tummy

Mommie took vitamin and nutritional supplements, had lots of ultrasounds and walked on a treadmill

My dad smacked the shit right out my momma and lefup outta here before I ever seen him

My parents took birthing classes together before I was ever conceived

Cigarettes helped my mother relieve her sufferings from withdrawal during my fetal development

She always killed 99.97% of all the germs in our safe and lovely suburban home

The teachers could see that I was doomed to failure from my earliest school days, so they ignored me

Everyone always assured my family that I certainly was an especially gifted and high-achieving child

I amused my growing brain by peeling off flakes of lead-filled paint to chew upon

I had so much warmth and stimulation that it appeared to them that I grew wise before my years

We got our nutrition from government programs that paid for us to eat from cans and cellophane

My developing mind and body were nurtured by the very best in current pop science nutrition wisdom

I had project TVs and boomboxes pumping rap and ad music into my crib 24x7 that got me my rhythm

My mom drove me to pre-kindergarten classes and play dates starting before I was 3

I was shuffled in with my drunk grannie by social services when mom lost our welfare apartment

I was surrounded and nurtured by grandparents, uncles and aunts all the days of my childhood

Nobody even noticed I needed glasses til I accidentally got my first eye test one day in the 5^th grade

Mom kept me strictly to the various meds they prescribed for the tragic ADHD masking my brilliance

I was chauffeured to all kinds of lessons and sports activities every day after school and all weekend

I learned independence being a latchkey kid whose only parent was off hoin fuh hart drugs

Everyone assured my folks from the very beginning that I would attend a very good college

School stopped working for me once I got pregnant for the first time, in the 9^th grade

I had a pet dog named Tuffie that I still miss to this day

I grew up with rats, roaches, lice, scabies and bedbugs as well as asthma

My slightly crooked smile was repaired for less than $5000

My teeth were soaked in sugar until they all rotted and simply fell out before I ever saw a dentist

We flew off to pricey destinations for all our well-deserved spring, summer and holiday breaks

We stole a car and took a joyride way out to where everbody knew we dinaha no biness

I occasionally mowed our perfectly green lawn for an extra $150 a month spending allowance

They showed me how ta make money carryin bags of whatever stuff around fa them

Now I have these allergies and auto-immune disorders and they say it’s cause I never got dirty

Shivved an enemy banger in a prison fight who turned out to be some uncle I neva even knew I hat

Spent 6 years part-Aing to get my degree in Communications and then became this chatty barista

Don’t run the screets nomo cause these bullet wounds left me all limpin an huffin like some old fool

I Have A Nightmare

"Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!" – MLK, “I have a dream”, 8/28/63.

I saw the few of us still remaining struggle uselessly, yet in total savagery over spoiled foodstuffs

I realized they were free at last of oppressive government oversight - as well as any yoke of morality

Freed they were - from concerns over mass extinctions, global warming and their own toxic emissions

No longer did they need to ignore elevated blood pressure, weight, blood sugar and cholesterol

Not just all the free healthcare and abortion clinics, but ALL of the clinics and hospitals were closed

There was no more Monday Nite Football and nobody would ever commute angrily back to work again

I watched them lovingly exact the violent vengeance that their society had so long denied them

Laughed hysterically as fictional climate change somehow made their exceptionist land uninhabitable

Found that the best survival strategy for the kids was to combine a loud violence with selfishness

No longer did folks need to choose between poisoned factory produce and costly but wilted organics

And no one questioned their sacred right to bear arms since they were so often taking sniper fire

Found the vast number of now-useless and abandoned fossil fuel vehicles to be strangely disquieting

Saw how women caught out alone became the legitimate target of gang rape and brutal violence

Strangers were shot on sight or forced into cruel slavery without any questions or any legal recourse

Useless skills such as reading and writing were forgotten except by those called on to read the bible

Obesity and lifestyle ills quickly disappeared in peoples whose average life expectancy was only 31

The old, infirm and sick all died at their natural pace without more than familial concern for care

Vast poisoned agribusiness regions left untended, ever so slowly regained a pre-industrial state

Diptheria, rheumatic fever, measles returned to claim many kids who had even survived childbirth

Toilet tissue became but a cultural memory that turned into a fanciful legend in a single generation

I have a nightmare where vast numbers of our obese and ignorant populace simply disappear at once

Gays retreated back to the closet or were killed and abortion was performed only with boot heels

The wounded and handicapped were left behind with a bit of food and a small plastic jug of water

They carried tattered flags about until they all fell to pieces, and no more ever arrived from China

They finally did reduce, refurbish, repurpose and recycle, but only out of hungry stone age necessity

Despite our destructive habits, the earth gradually recovered thanks to our huge population decrease

After the entitlements ended, torches and pitchforks rooted out quivering executives and politicians

Greenhouse emissions finally cratered when all the power plants and refineries were abandoned

No longer were we agitated by unmuffled pickups, jetskis, snowmachines, ATVs, dirtbikes and sirens

Factory fishing ceased quite suddenly and devastated ocean stocks at last began slowly to recover

Prices for bluefin tuna and elephant ivory bottomed with no elite class to sustain that vanity demand

Hot water was only available if boiled over an open fire and kids speculated about electrical outlets

Half-wild dogs and open firepits once again became of utmost importance to our very survival

Unconstitutional taxes were replaced by bribes and sex for protection by petty and violent warlords

They no longer needed to complain about the increasing entitlements and more tax cuts for the rich

But by god, we are all created a helluva lot more equal given the universal squalor of all our lives

She’s All-American, Made In Chana

My blond girlfriend knows all the designer labels that come on her wayoverpriced high fashion outfits

But she couldn’t exactly say where her clothes or the pounds of cosmetics she trowels on come from

But those and alla her hair dyes, perfumes, shoes, and nail polish come straight outta Chana, too

Still, the brandnames of her cheapmade but expensive designer shit sound real honest and American

Her (i)Pod/Pad/Phone were also all built by them abused peasant serfs and she don’t know or care

Allathem too-cute disposable party favors for her sorority part_As are made by them little Asians, too

She don’t notice it, but her “Wild Alaska Salmon” also says “Product of Chana” in really teeny letters

But her booty is purely American…just like all the air inside her pretty and entitled little head

She’s a real internationalist cause she got drunk and thew up down in Cancun during spring break

She supports our boys overseas and it don’t matter that she caint find any Whateverstans on a map

Feels safe ridin in that 8 fat passenger SUV lookin out over top athem teeny, uncomfortable hybrids

Helps ta dress the poor with all the stuff others buy for her that she tosses out without wearin twice

Knows how to order only the best when somebody else takes her out to eat at a nice restaurant

But she don’t overeat, well, least not in public, so they just throw out half of what goes on her plate

Stays out of the way in the kitchen cause she never has learned how to cook and its yucky anyways

Knows lots of stars by first names and follows them like theyas close friends on that social media

She’s a real footbawl fan and always sets out the good chips and salsa with cold beer for her boys

Absolutely sure she’s the very entitled, exceptionist queen here in ThE Greatest Country On Earth

Not more than 10-12 lbs overweight, she’s got an expensive health club membership - if she needs it

Hardly misses a day in the tanning booth except when she can lay out by the apartment pool

Never had a job and certainly never expects to do more than maybe whatever volunteer or somethin

Got a degree in like business and she could pass that real estate exam anytime she really wanted to

But, she knows that welfare is for moochers and that medicare needs to be cut way back, real soon

Posts cute pictures of her and her friends dressed up and insists them smartphone sexts aint her

She’s an expert on makeup trends and she’s on top of all the latest in hollywood hairstyles

Gets a pedicure from a nice cambodian lady once a month whether she needs it or not

Never misses a day on the Pill and she knows that all abortions are simply the murder of little babies

The inside of her mouth costed more than years of fatherless children’s government assistance

Spends hours getting rid of unwanted hair but, on like reading and stuff - Not so much

Stays protected from elitists tryin ta enslave the world by not havin any real opinions of her own

Aint a natural smell comin out any parta her beautiful body

Why she could probably be that Next Supermodel if she really wanted to

Demandin equal pay but she’s gotta leave early again, and thanks for holding the door

Knows real well how to uptalk to the household help almost like they were real family or friends

Totally aware of what stuff she likes costs but not the faintest idea how much work it takes to earn it

Yup, she’s the flower and spirit of this great country and the reason we fight so hard for our freedom

Just Another Never Could Have Been

It sucks to be a has been, now with all your greatness gone

I hate those could have beens, they’ve wasted real potential

It’s worse to be a might have been, robbed by fate of a rightful chance

But I know I’m a never could have been and it is what it is

The guys who live alone in the glory of their past are simply pitiful

Those who almost made it still have something to look back upon

The dreams the might-haves had, though unfulfilled, are the stuff of stories

But knowing in your heart you never had what it takes is simply black and white

They said we’s all self-evidently created equal

But even from the beginning some fall far behind

And advantages grow larger at ever-incredasing rates

None of that ever mattered to me for I was born a never could have been

It’s hard, having been a star, to adapt to a new and ordinary normal

Too often they simply cannot consider that it may be time to quit

So many do not even know when could be changed to might have been

But for the never could have been life abides eternally in a drab consistency

We're Just Cosmic Background Noise

But we act like our bullshit-filled lives have meaning in the universe...

You’ve briefly attained a venal self-awareness for reasons that, as far as you know are simply random

Arose from somewhere out the cosmic background from which emits the hum of the universal mantra

Your confused memories only go back so far - and they wont extend out for very much longer - either

Yes, the infinite buzz will re-envelop you despite your pathetic, childish notions of a biblical paradise

In the meantime just let yourself be filled by ads and stress out over multitasked inconsequentialities

For all your thoughts emerge as tiny, fractal bubbles which quickly disappear in the surrounding void

You briefly pass a window in an endless dark tunnel and are filled with a flash of astonishing light

Not to worry though, all this foolish nonsense will not outlast your eternal, yet totally fictional, soul

Do not fear their quaint notion of a divine post-mortem accountability - It’s only used to control you

Because you will remember nothing even if your grasping and foolish self somehow is reincarnated

So, don’t count on carrying forward any wisdom, thoughts or remembrances even should it happen

Rather, believe whatever you wish about your future, for disappointment does not exist in the void

Use up your time on petty jealousy, foolish hatred and pathetic hobbies - Cuz it just dont matter!

Dump all the litter you want for it will be incinerated during earth’s demise with the end of our sun

Make all the mindless noise you wish for it can never leave the thin atmosphere we have so polluted

Dont bother saving for your future since even the rich and famous share the identical, empty fate

Though you’ve watched many insects die quickly for nothing you always knew your life meant more

Caught frightening glimpses of a vast emptiness when you were not looking… and quickly turned away

So just keep focus on all those costly but meaningless activities that make your children your friends

Your empty consumerism wont have any consequences so go eat, drink and live merrily – all on credit

Always tried hard to act like you were quite sure there’s more to life than the unending, empty grind

You’ve forever left really important stuff for later cause you’re so damn busy and you still have time

But you’ll be so worn out, drugged up and in so much pain you wont even remember any such things

And not to worry: They will be able to get on with their lives after seeing you off, alone- to wherever

Don’t waste time on such as recycling: For the end of our solar system will totally clean things up

Stop and smell the roses, go for the gusto and live for today cause soon you’ll know nothing: Forever!

Sadly, you’ll miss all the rest of those big games, holidays and special sales, all throughout eternity

But don’t you worry, for you will not feel alone, because there is no loneliness in nothing

You look for meaning only because our brains tell us that things simply should make some sense

And passing briefly through this life and simply disappearing with nothing in sight just cannot be right

Yes, though it’s impossible for your to accept a fate of background inconsequentiality, nonetheless...

Your chirping will die out like the crickets in the fall, with only a bit part played…And that will be all

Uninteresting Fractional Beings

Walmart CEO Michael Duke earned $19.2 million in 2009 while the company laid off 13,350 minimum-wage workers

1 athem 6 Chinese peasants sharing the job aone offshored but entitled and illiterate, ex-firstworlder

A single gallon from the 2000 required to put a pound of poisoned, tortured beef on our family table

The pitiful unbelievers whose lost souls shall never get even a single glimpse of our eternal paradise

That poor, abused little girl, always silently held back by the horrors her uncle embedded within her

Allatha uninterstin and useless species that needta adapta our ordained progress or simply disappear

The 50% of our created-equal kids who just gotta make do with at least one parent missing

Irrelevant worn out and castoff old people staring blankly at their duty to simply get out the way

Vegan halfwits doped up on some totally-divorced from reality New Age SustainaBilly opiate dream

Low level beings like pets which our kids may occasionally torture cause, after all, they aint people

Any of them illegales always slippin around under foot real quietlike, tryin ta steal the resta our jobs

Them yatillions of unintersting sea zooplanktons vainly trying to feed offa our microplastic residues

Whatever halfa-biyon Indians each barely scrapin by on like $1 - Ever hot, dirty and miserble day

The fractionally-human CEOs whose only sense of pain comes from their own pathological insecurity

Robocloned politicians whose morals and opinions can be updated remotely by their donor owners

eHiver zombie drones filling internal vacuums by inhaling illiterate posts and meaningless tweets

Couch-based virtual warrior adventure heroes whose muscles lie flaccid and unused in dull reality

Uninteresting losers, content to live within average means on ordinary jobs - Way too boring for us

All those vapid and loyal fans who make a wonderful life in hollywood possible for their stars…

That 60% fraction or 4.5 billion people in this shiny, hi-tech world who don’t even have flush toilets

Those filthy homeless losers you ignore every day who won’t even try to clean up to look for a job

Bold ruling executives, incomplete except in a 3 piece suit with a crisp white shirt and natty new tie

That 1% who can never get quite rich enough to realize that they already had quite enough, long ago

Fragmentary vampires such as real estate agents, fully alive for just a few minutes - after each sale

Sheep, content to mask insecurity with tired placebos hawked by charlatan, franchise faith salesmen

All those whose existence is not worth consideration outside their tiny dot in some lame sales trend

Dumb, backseat plants and animals lacking either commercial value or aesthetic appeal to humanity

Disposable temporary farm workers who just need to disappear when their thankless slavery is done

Long-persecuted minorities who wont drink their Self-Responsibility Kool-Aid and stop their whining

Those innocent victims of obesity swollen beyond human recognition by the awful bloating epidemic

Former Meth addicts with brains now so fried that they can never again experience normal pleasure

Nearly contemptible mere citizens who can never understand the Police, EMS, Fire or the Military

Passive-aggressive underperformers who survive only due to a bluntly-enforced political correctness

Hapless sports nuts surviving with half their brains given over to meaningless corporate franchises

Snarky hipsters who don’t yet grasp that all old people always look the same, just like all the Asians

Nearly-literate, debt-ridden graduates wasted on jobs that don’t require any higher education at all

Drugged-up shutins whose hidden lives fade a bit every day due to some wasting terminal malignancy