Miyonsa Preverted DEv8s

Them preverted dEv8s are tryin ta take over the goverment just like they rueend alla the schools

Sustainabillies buzzin with they joyless, fat-free hidden agenda all up in our faces, like filthy flies

Hideously brazen LGBTQs stalking our kids out in the streets, on TV and in they smartphones as well

Skinny vegans pushin rotten overpriced organic wedgies over good-od doublemeat bacon cheeseburgs

We're miyonsa not so bright and ignerant republicans who still refuse ta see whos pullin our strings

We even believe we’ll be back ta gettn snowmobiles, jetskis and ATVs on credit from our houses

Just talkin tax cuts, socialism and the EPA, real patriots may get enough votes to keep the 1% on top

We’ll all be drivin tough, new cheap-diesel pickups just as soon as them over-regelaturs gets flushed

Why, them bastards wanna us ta actuelly get outta our vehicles and go like walk around or somethin

Always pushin fat, incompitint, hissy, handicapped, gay, women acolor up front fer them permotions

Wantin to scam us on they overpriced whatever artisun bread, shade coffee, frinch cheese and shit

Seen their goddam squirrelly talk shows before, goin way too detailed and not even raisin ther voices

We stand by our coal-fired thermostats in this righteous war against that costly climate change fraud

Locked onto the Fair and Balanced for guidance thru this vast and tricky liberal media conspirecy

Damn straight that Endangered Species Act has got to go – right along with that unholy, jobkillin EPA

WTF has that overreachin Clean Water Act ever done cept to cost us all abuncha jobs and money?

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Those lame apartment pickup truck cowboys can’t know how good it feels to go hybrid hyper-miling

Why can’t they see they’re killin their kids with candybars, tube steaks, cheetos and Mountain Dew?

They just keep beggin for more money for so-called dEfense while we’re flyin off that fiscal cliff

Guess they’re OK with making less every year and with more tax cuts for the 1% who offshored them

They actually believe that taxing the rich will ruin their own vapid negative savings rate lifestyles

Think that going for free to the ER is what ThE world’s finest healthcare system is really all about

Not afraid of diabetes, high blood pressure or cholesterol, heart disease or obesity, not one damn bit

Expressing true freedom and liberty by waddling about in their lameass fat pickups and giant SUVs

Simply refuse to see how blindly promoting gay, handicapped, female humans of color benefits us all

The rich need their votes but know that they’re really all trapped in that entitlement mentality

Paying $350/mo for phone, internet and HDTV is what it is for the privilege of being an American

But just how do they figure that carrying 27% interest balances on 5 credit cards is prudent finance?

Must fix the deficit but, for the love of god, Don’t touch our social security, medicaid or raise taxes!

And of course we must rebuild our crippled military, why, that’s one thing Everbody can agree on

So, yeah, if they’re too stupid to be eating broccoli already, there’s no point in forcing it down them

They think it’s not fair to pay taxes on the money saved via foreclosure, because they’re still broke

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If you ax me, everbudy needs ta be armed at all times ta put a real quick stop to them cereal killers

The only diet we found that really works is to binge and scratch on Meth til hour teeth turn black

Energy independence means wearin shorts all winter and idlin our P/Us 20 minutes ta warm em up

So, who is it that really profits from our ignorance AND convinces us ta be so damn proud of it?