The Pursuit Of A Programmed Happiness

All men are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights…

Living large on credit cards, speeding by in fancy cars and dressing up like we was like movie stars

Asskissing, backstabbing, shoulderclimbing & downkicking my way to that penthouse office in the sky

It’s like this: a trillion totally selfish & blindly greedy decisions per day optimize our collective future

So it is, in the end truly and most importantly as I must always remember: Only and all just about me

Besides, the free market solves all our problems automagically simply by meeting my vanity demands

So, I only need to go for the gusto, live for today and try to stop & smell the roses along the way

Because Hey! God wants me to prosper: Our mega-church preacher told me so along with 1500 others

Anyways, it does seem that I can only measure my happiness by short-term changes to my net worth

The concerns of others cannot not bind me for I was created to pursue my own individual happiness

Some struggle to save the environment or to solve social problems but I was born to get ahead

And I expect the same from all the corporate entities whose stock is creating my retirement nestegg

I’m not interested in their being socially-responsible either but they must maximize their stock price

Don’t care if it’s coal or dogshit-fired, I just wanna be able to twist that thermostat when I want to

I simply must step over these homeless moochers every day on the way to fulfilling my own destiny

Its like, I have no time to recycle now but when I get really rich I may hire someone to do it for me

I tell ya, my ramtuf hemi pickup makes me feel so gooood when it throws off a smoke cloud real loud

No worry if they fall again for my next investment scam - they can go squeal for another govt bailout

Dont see how this whatever national infrastrcture mess has any bearing on the wishes I need to fulfill

When I want a burger I aint got time ta fuss over that like food animal holocaust suppozedly goin on

But, it is good to know that just keeping to our own wants & needs helps bring us all a better future

So, with stirring patriotic fervor, I strive for new cars, mansions, yachts, servants & a trophy wife

And, staying ahead on these measures assures me that I am winning big on the class warfare front

You see I combine my pursuit of happiness with the socially-Darwinian struggle we must all undertake

And I am grateful to companies that continually bring out new products that spur on my noble pursuit

Luckily, just by fulfilling our implanted marketers dreams we help ensure a brighter future for us all

I don’t get all like neurotic worrying about saving the world - Cause I just need to watch out for me

And yeah, I think my dad died happy…he was talking up his new car just 3 days before he left us

I did have to step on a few faces to get where I am but it was all in joyful, self-centered competition

So, we toast ourselves at fine restaurants and enjoy a fleeting sociopathic sense of self-satisfaction

If it’s new, I want it first. If it’s hot, I want the most expensive. If it’s scarce, I want the most.

And its not just about materialism, crushing the competition on my way up also satisfies me deeply

And don’t forget that my happiness also includes the pursuit of relaxing gasoline-powered recreation

BTW, I’m damn sure that the markets will blindly manage any so-called environmental problems, too

You see, simply by chasing my own implanted needs I really do help to make the world a better place

God bless America and our creator-revealed constitutional right to the pursuit of individual happiness

And, happily, I can look forward to an eternity of vapid wish fulfillment, up there in His paradise

Ties Suck

The Neckwear Association of America states, in the 1800s to touch another man’s tie was taboo and a catalyst for a duel

Why should I trust any of those fast-talking phonies sporting colorful new silk ties every day on TV?

Totally non-functional but costly suits are just the Unis CEOs wear to try and demand our respect

They spend so much time wearing makeup you’d think they were bubblehead office beauty queens

Reading statements in those lameass shiny leather shoes with hidden elevators should impress us?

Their practiced parrot of speeches written for them by their donors writers cant move me anymore

Reading bold plans, reciting fiery rhetoric and twisted press releases doesn’t make a man of action

In my lowlife world, everybody’s not all and only about some pathological need for public attention

Basing daily strategy on overnite polling and focus groups is not a part of my meaning of leadership

The thought of letting paid marketers mold my media personality to get votes makes me nauseous

Then even if you get elected, just to be seated, you must wear a monkey suit in their holy chamber

Sometimes they even loosen the ties, half roll up their sleeves - for staged foto-ops with real workers

And the mind-numbing soundbites they are cloaked with are cynically passed off as reasoned debate

Carefully-cultivated images serve merely to secure more donations for more ads to buy more votes

Those starched shirts must always be perfectly crisp and clean or it throws them off their sales pitch

Their swishy staff members spend hours on tie colors for the occasion: Now that's leading by example

Still, those guys are so insecure they just can’t keep from groping every bimbo coming within reach

Dressed for success yet quite unable to perform even the simplest real task beyond holding a glass

Yeah, power ties, for power brokers, movers and shakers: Anonymous yet furtively-savage rodents

Backstabbers with laser pointers, shoulderclimbers in shiny black wingtips, asskissers with $20K teeth

Going really casual in a dress shirt and suit coat – without a tie, for up to an hour at a time: Fearless

The security of real silk on his neck must surely keep a genuine leader focused on his donor’s agenda

Dumb me down some more until I see their clown costumes as solemnly as say, that gay papal regalia

Hey, that empty shit can’t intimidate any more, but it does identify - Like an orange prison jumpsuit

What other activities is a pricey three-piece suited for except canned speeches and ‘big’ meetings?

Oh, and their carefully planned odors – so meticulously applied after their real smells are cauterized

Yup, ties suck and anyone wearing one on a daily basis surely suffers from permanent brain damage

All you starched and programmed little roosters - At least dress like you could actually do something

There’ll be no more aura of respect generated by your costly finery, but here’s a caustic rejection

You! You ever try and drive a UPS truck or tear off a roof with a coat and tie on? No? I didn’t think so

You can’t walk on a shop floor with those slippery leather soles - So get out until you get some sense

Your very reason and imagination are constrained by the artificial stiffness of your stupid formal garb

And you do that willingly? Oh, I forgot, your handlers set out your clothes, just like your mommy did

Hey, you oughta try going to the unemployment office dressed in your strutting peacock TV getups

Yeah, they taught you about ginning undeserved respect by dressing funny back in law school, right?

Look, your personas are as fraudulent as your fairytale voter spin or your air-popped corporate videos

The frilly finery you must always wear now simply helps to publicly identify you - Like a Star of David