We're Just Cosmic Background Noise

But we act like our bullshit-filled lives have meaning in the universe...

You’ve briefly attained a venal self-awareness for reasons that, as far as you know are simply random

Arose from somewhere out the cosmic background from which emits the hum of the universal mantra

Your confused memories only go back so far - and they wont extend out for very much longer - either

Yes, the infinite buzz will re-envelop you despite your pathetic, childish notions of a biblical paradise

In the meantime just let yourself be filled by ads and stress out over multitasked inconsequentialities

For all your thoughts emerge as tiny, fractal bubbles which quickly disappear in the surrounding void

You briefly pass a window in an endless dark tunnel and are filled with a flash of astonishing light

Not to worry though, all this foolish nonsense will not outlast your eternal, yet totally fictional, soul

Do not fear their quaint notion of a divine post-mortem accountability - It’s only used to control you

Because you will remember nothing even if your grasping and foolish self somehow is reincarnated

So, don’t count on carrying forward any wisdom, thoughts or remembrances even should it happen

Rather, believe whatever you wish about your future, for disappointment does not exist in the void

Use up your time on petty jealousy, foolish hatred and pathetic hobbies - Cuz it just dont matter!

Dump all the litter you want for it will be incinerated during earth’s demise with the end of our sun

Make all the mindless noise you wish for it can never leave the thin atmosphere we have so polluted

Dont bother saving for your future since even the rich and famous share the identical, empty fate

Though you’ve watched many insects die quickly for nothing you always knew your life meant more

Caught frightening glimpses of a vast emptiness when you were not looking… and quickly turned away

So just keep focus on all those costly but meaningless activities that make your children your friends

Your empty consumerism wont have any consequences so go eat, drink and live merrily – all on credit

Always tried hard to act like you were quite sure there’s more to life than the unending, empty grind

You’ve forever left really important stuff for later cause you’re so damn busy and you still have time

But you’ll be so worn out, drugged up and in so much pain you wont even remember any such things

And not to worry: They will be able to get on with their lives after seeing you off, alone- to wherever

Don’t waste time on such as recycling: For the end of our solar system will totally clean things up

Stop and smell the roses, go for the gusto and live for today cause soon you’ll know nothing: Forever!

Sadly, you’ll miss all the rest of those big games, holidays and special sales, all throughout eternity

But don’t you worry, for you will not feel alone, because there is no loneliness in nothing

You look for meaning only because our brains tell us that things simply should make some sense

And passing briefly through this life and simply disappearing with nothing in sight just cannot be right

Yes, though it’s impossible for your to accept a fate of background inconsequentiality, nonetheless...

Your chirping will die out like the crickets in the fall, with only a bit part played…And that will be all

Bubba And The Beneficent Rain

There’s more mercy in a single raindrop than in all the empty sacraments any priests have ever given

But we merely see it as a nuisance that messes up our office blowdry and our new costume clothing

For, you see, the anonymous mercy of the falling rain might just spoil our venal little workaday plans

And all the unearned redemption that it brings isn’t counted among our vast and divine entitlements

We are simply unable to enjoy the security of quietly listening to gentle night rains upon our roof

No, the contentment of an all day soaking as felt by the grateful rice farmer is foreign to our lives

The beneficence of showers does not soothe those rushing about upon stressedout commuter errands

We are so very far from grasping the gratitude with which others greet the start of their monsoon

There is no connection between our 24x7 eLives and the weather, save its occasional inconvenience

The unearned grace of beneficent rains flows off our backs like the dirty-dishwater ducks that we are

Meanwhile all the poisons we so casually discard soak the earth about us in equal parts per million

But, of course, no one should worry about a dirty rain in these persistent times of economic hardship

The simple rain that bathes the soil and fills our streams is simply not on our viral hipster radar

That earthy smell off a drying field cannot move us in the fashion of one of our own merry tweets

The dirty runoff from foul alleys and sidewalks certainly does not merit our over-allocated attention

Rain just gets my car all dirty and forces me to run, unnaturally, all the way in from the parking lot

And Bubba Sez:

That whatever hydrologic cycle can’t effect me cause I drink all my water outta throwaway plastic

Hearin about droughts and shit batween country songs, I’m glad that stuff’s got nethin to do with me

At least, when it rains I don’t gotta do yardwork, so yeah, actually I guess I am like sorta grateful

But we aint doin no pagan celebrations or satanic shit like that just cause god let down a little rain

I mean look at all the mud and that filthy runoff - better bring the kids right on inside, mother

Don’t want them runnin around wet without they shirts, laughing and shinin like some kinda hindis

Oh, my god, Timmy, don’t you swalla them filthy raindrops, I already told you they’re bad for ya

Now look at ya, you’re all wet and dirty just cause you ain’t got the sense to get in out the rain

So why should we celebrate the rain that washes the stuff that caused my skin lesions into this ocean

Don’t think the fish are celebratin the oxygen-sucking algal bloom our rain-carried fertilizers create

We don’t wanna go dirtbikin if its rainin and we caint even have a barbecue picnic and drink our beer

Look, we came ta this here naturel paradise fer a well-deserved vacation so, by god it better not rain

Useless But Self-Serving Movers And Shakers

Take the man in charge of moving Krispy Kreme Doughnuts forward: In its sugar-filled, fat-laden glory

Think of the great challenges facing those climbing the sweet, black and caffeinated ladder at Coke

How do they keep their focus so sharp over at KFC, pushing the Colonels greasy pitch deep into China

Gaze upon that Captain of Industry at the helm of Frito-Lay pimping fat, sugar and salt in cellophane

How about realtors, omitting and misleading both buyers and sellers to their own greedy advantage

Or there’s always the brave Oreo management team struggling for more shelf space at kids eyelevel

Note as TooBigToFail CityBank fights for the freedom to secretly hedge against their very own funds

Observe as Dodge pushes 6 mpg Hemi Rams on not so bright yet proudly-ignorant apartment cowboys

Foreign-owned Budweiser advertises its highly-patriotic, factory-built swill as crisp and refreshing

Ya need to guzzle lotsa milk, given the unsubstantiated health claims and ignore their tortured cows

Don’t forget the $20/lb subsidized sugar and corn Honey Smacks your ad-washed kids just gotta have

Think of the TypeA execs stressing over new colors for the L’Eggs pantyhose smothering your crotch

They work hard over at Aquafina and Dasani to differentiate water for us - Using only labels and ads

Pizza Hut moves forward, shoveling more factory meat and hi-fat cheese sludge into our arteries

Smooth cosmetic surgeons tickle the middle-aged woman’s fancy with overpriced Mommy Makeovers

Admire that army of Big Tobacco lawyers that helped to push cancer sticks so profitably, for so long

Gaze upon this Nike shoe, made in the same asian sweatshop as Walmart’s but sold at 5x the price

Note how clearly they mouth Traditional Family Values™ to hide a fawning obedience to their donors

Consider how it’s our CIA spook’s patriotic duty to pruriently invade all yer privacy - in total secrecy

Think what’s in dog food imported from where they stretched their own baby formula with melamine

Then there’s that Pope, profiting on fear-driven faith with gay garb, tired dogma and stale traditions

Admire Fair and Balanced media, wildly profiting by angrily widening our people’s ideological gap

Enjoy the shit that’s so Lite and All-Natural you can feel good about being poisoned while getting fat

Honor those who provide you with spotty cell service for 200bucksa month in an airtight contract

Ignore that rich sponsors pay to spin you on only such as abortion, gun control and family values

Yes, you can! Believe in their Change - Just like alla them other greasy liars that came before them

Of course the government can’t make you eat broccoli - Even if you are already too ignorant not to

You aint payin fer obamacare but - You are paying for the moochers via your ever-higher premiums

Think of the brilliant chemists at Axe, toiling to get a hipster smell to waft from young, sweaty pits

How about those high paid lobbyists extolling Clean Coal at their expensive legislative-bribe dinners

You got Big Pharma picking and choosing which of their own paid research studies to use on the FDA

Of course Monsanto sues any soybean farmer whose crop happens to get RoundUp Ready, by accident

Look at good old Boeing artfully combining children, soft music and new bombers in institutional ads

Think you could keep a straight face pocketing your hefty bonus on higher sales athem toxic SlimJims

What a grand challenge to build a worse artery clogger than CarlsJR triple beef/bacon/cheese burger

Like us, our Olympic Unis are emblazoned ‘USA‘ on the outside but say Made In China on the inside

That’s An Alternative Fact!

Our supporters don’t listen to their lying so-called factcheckers - so we can create the news that suits our sponsors

Welcome to the highway to hell, here in the USSA – The United Socialist States Of America

Gas would only be $1.50/gallon if not for that intrusive and unnecessary government regulation

America’s greatest days remain ahead, for we alone possess a divinely-granted exceptionist destiny

Climate change is a costly, elitist scare tactic used to try to steal our precious national sovereignty

Good science can advance thru slanted polls and soundbites just as well as via reproducible research

Industry studies reveal processed meats have health benefits beyond storing toxic fat for lean times

Politicians are not quietly fostering increasing ignorance only because it keeps us easier to convince

The government’s core inflation rate is a true indicator of price trends our families are experiencing

Real estate professionals bring true expertise and a desire for a better world to their unselfish work

Corporate strategies are rooted in a deep patriotism and great concern for citizens longterm welfare

Free markets can ensure species preservation via setting high prices on items such as ivory and tuna

Our lovely planet can comfortably support 10 billion people with but a few minor agricultural tweaks

Liberals plan to take away our guns and give up our cherished freedom to that pagan United Nations

We absolutely must continue to outspend the world combined on dEfense or risk foreign domination

Medicare Death Panels already have prioritized lists of grandparents to be put down by gov’t doctors

It’s only the Far Right that has succeeded in stopping any and all efforts at political compromise

Continually retrying failed socialist policies hoping for better results is a hallmark of liberal madness

Though their contributions are not financially measurable, CEO compensation must increase annually

Chronic budget reductions can be sustainably overcome via volunteerism and doing more with less

Air is free, a fresh water supply is a god-given right and the oceans must stay open to all for profit

Our reasoned evolution of belief is the very opposite of the hated political enemy’s cowardly flip-flop

Industry-financed drug research exemplifies how market forces efficiently effect safe self-regulation

War is a genetic and moral imperative – Besides it’s a lucrative and permanent economic opportunity

Tax cuts, social program reductions and deregulation will suffice to get our country growing strongly

Globalization allows multinationals to provide us with cheaper products and good jobs for peasants

A worldwide elite conspires to tithe our precious sovereignty to a godless Eurohive of failed socialism

LGBT behavior is a lifestyle choice which can be unlearned given the proper spiritual environment

And truly the fight for gay marriage ranks right up there with women’s suffrage and negro civil rights

The feds fund stripper training in Chicago and teach NY pimps to writeoff employee meth benefits

Ranchers are right to demand predator control so their welfare cattle can trample public wetlands

Any tax increase on the rich completely robs them of their priceless, job-creating motivation

Unlimited and anonymous corporate campaign bribes are necessary to ensure our freedom of speech

Mandatory universal armament would ensure everyone’s safety from that rare wacko mass murderer

The EPA or Employment Prevention Agency must be abolished along with all its job-killing regulations

Recycling is a foolish waste of time which merely prevents market forces from operating efficiently

The return of the Good Old Days of late last century is certain given our people’s boundless optimism

Tao Te KaChing

 “The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao” – Lao Tsu, 600 B.C.

The Tao that can be revealed at a general shareholder meeting certainly is not the Insider Tao

The unimaginably-large and non-retractable bonus remains the source of ten thousand schemes

Never seeing the luxurious baubles of their CEO prevents confusion in the hearts of his loyal workers

The good executive is like water, assuming the shape of any corporate fishbowl in which he is placed

The CEO knows to stay behind (closed and guarded teak doors) and thus is he able to remain ahead

The sage says ‘better to stop short than fill to the brim’ and so it is with labor wages and benefits

Loudly proclaim wealth and disaster will follow, therefore float silently off neath golden parachutes

He claims absolute control over all things corporate, yet will always insist he knew of nothing illegal

Precious baubles lead the greedy CEO astray, thus must his compensation package annually increase

Subtly counseling workers to accept conditions as simple fate allows true leaders to slash benefits

Though their value cannot be seen, heard or held, wise boards bid up a CEO’s immeasurable services

They are the form of the formless and the face of the faceless – that 1% driven off behind tinted glass

The kernel of their knowledge is amorphous as the hollow of caves or the opaqueness of muddy pools

Policy prohibits them commenting on investigations but at bonus time the CEO will proclaim ‘I did it’

When media wisdom and pundit intelligence were born, then did their great pretense truly began

When the country became confused and in chaos then did these faux-loyal ministers first slither forth

Having abandoned kindness and renounced morality, they urge subordinates to filial piety and love

Following the Tao Te KaChing they know: There is no difference between Yes and No, Good and Evil

The ancients said ‘Yield and Overcome’, thus do they asskiss, backbite and shoulder-climb to the top

If heaven and earth cannot make things eternal the CEO employs outsourcing, temping and layoffs

Boasting achieves nothing, bragging does not endure so true CEOs strive to amass a superstars wealth

Shareholders know: The four great powers of the universe are the Tao, Heaven, Earth and the Bonus

The CEO, traveling all day, does not lose sight of personal gain, despite the 10000 beautiful things

The wise CorproClone retains his early humility: In his fictionalized and ghost-written autobiography

Many mergers are hard, some may fail: Thus, the sage CEO only works under an ironclad contract

When many are terminated, he mourns as if in sorrow, eyeing his huge bonus as if at a funeral

He reports footnoted results, never boasts in public and quietly deposits what is, his life’s meaning

His perseverance is a sign of the willpower of those unable to feel rich by seeing they have enough

Descriptions of the CEO seem without substance, invisible and silent, yet his great need is palpable

Like fish which cannot leave deep waters they must remain locked behind those rich mahogany doors

Good leaders model values but managers enforce rules, so a VP only smiles as minions do his bidding

Having lost goodness, kindness and justice, they rely on ritual - that empty husk of faith and loyalty

The CEO hears of the Tao and laughs, praise be, for without laughter the Tao would not be what it is

For pursuing wealth he acquires something daily, but pursuing the Tao he would lose a thing each day

The visionary CEO knows if his workers exist on the edge they will not falsely overvalue human life

Anonymous and irresponsible they feign a sorrowful humility when exposed at last to stockholders