Real Slow ‘Merican Decay

Shyte aint gonna blow up like in yer hollywood blockbusters, civilizations gunna just slowly fade away

Ya wont have ta take the pickup out ta the woods with guns blazin - yu’ll just wither in yer apartmint

Gov’t healthcare death panels aint gonna cum fer gramaw - She’ll just lay there, out of it - fer years

The librals wont get ta give over our precious sovernty ta that atheistic, commonistic UN b4 you go

The roads’ll just slowly get worse and we’ll start boilin our drinkin water and heatin with wood again

The dam vaccinations was just killin off our darlin children enaway, so good-gubye ta that conspiracy

The whtever lektrik grid’ll just slowly shrivel til thers maybe 4 hrs service/day and then only in town

Timesavin chinese household goods wont be so easy ta cum by what with the failin transport network

You proly wont be goin out ta eat 10er12 times a week anymore as yer buyin power is rampin down

They’ll be wheelin you outta the ER without near as much free treatment as you was used ta gettin

Hey, there’ll still be good ole foopawl on the big screen, but you won’t be buyin no latest Samstung

Relax, it aint gonna be no massive catastrophe changin the Entire world like overnight or somethin

Yeah, yer teeth’ll slowly hurt worse and worse, but you’ll stay used to that, what with good old Oxy

And the old ladys growths from the tanning booth…they’ll just keep getting bigger, redder and uglier

Cataracts’ll slowly make stuff looks dim and blurry and stronger readin glasses won’t helpya at all

Meanwhile, yer hypertension, atherosclerosis, diabetes, obesity & COPD will all just silently increase

CorProAg will slowly but very surely poison our bountiful soil even as they destroy its fertility as well

Illiterate illegals and non-english speakin overbreeders will stealthily suk us down into the 3^rd-world

Relax, it’ll be years for your children blame their hopeless situation on your sloth, greed & ignorance

Yup, you can proudly shout ‘This is ThE greatest country on the planet:USA,USA,USA!’ fer awhile yet

Them black helicopturs wont allsudden show up over yer house at nite, at least not for the time bein

Risin sea levels aint gonna take out yer dad’s condo down in flarida overnite er nothin

Tho yer taxes will raise up faster than inflation, yer entitlements will actually shrink, year after year

Political lies will have to keep on getting bigger to cover the reality gap, but it’s a real slow process

We wont be able to afford food inspectors but industry self-regelation will surely keep us pretty OK

Them weathr and GPS satellites will slowly wink out but you’ll still have cell service for quite a while

Yet, freedom loving patriots can smile cuz that jobkillin EPA will simply hafta be cut: Year after year

Oh, but you’ll hear lotsa teeth gnashin over possible smaller increases to our sacred dEfense budget

Slowly, real slowly youll lose yer ATVs, Jetskis, snowmachines, dirt bikes & giant pickups ta crediters

No worries yet, it’ll be a while for it hurts justa get outta bed even after a rare good nite’s sleep

They’ll keep the family in burger fer years by usin formerly non-edible portionsa cow carcasses

Your medicare aint gonna be canceled tomorra but one day you won’t find no doctors who accept it

You can keep on fightin that climate change by twistin yer coal-fired thermostat fer years ta come

And, yup, we’ll still have more nukes, land mines & chemical weapons than allathem ferin heathens

Them toxic wastes aint gonna kill us off even though they will keep on slowly buildin up insidea us

But, one thing that aint never gonna change is ur faith & trust in the absolute trutha that Good Book

I’m Afraid Of The Doctor...Bills

Medical Bills Are the Biggest Cause of US Bankruptcies - cnbc.com/id/100840148

Just thinking about the OMG-size bills makes me so afraid I can’t even consider an appointment

I’ll hafta let this thing on my arm alone a while longer, maybe it’ll just go away on its own afterwhile

Last time both the insurance corp and my doctor quickly turned me over to a nasty collection agency

Now the ER bills me 3 times as much as they did before I lost all my coverage when I was offshored

I know I should be brave but I’m just scared of having to go bankrupt cause I cant pay my doctor bills

And I keep having to see these specialists making $400/hr who read my name so warmly in greeting

I want to be a big boy but the thought of financing an operation as costly as a house really scares me

But the dentist and the optometrist dont worry me - cause I won’t ever be visiting either of them

They always find new stuff & put me on more drugs while I keep garbage-gorging and never exercise

But we cut our health costs by skipping checkups and cutting back on the expensive tests & drugs

Besides, we fear if we use any benefits beyond our $20k deductible our insurance rates will double

Just let my crippled back wait cause Mom needs a new hip, cataract surgery and 14 different meds

It scares me cause the docs are above talking about what stuff costs and there’s no way to compare

So, that’s why I’m laying in bed awake at 3AM praying nervously that none of us gets sick tomorrow

I used to just be scared of gettng shots but now its healthcare-driven financial ruin that frightens me

And I know I cant become one of those greedy moochers always sniffing round for more entitlements

I quake like crazy just hearing that a $2000 5 minute ambulance ride is only a small billing appetizer

Cause once the doc is done and I’m at home, the true pain - that is, the financial pain - really begins

I remember how I trembled getting stitches - just like I shake now when another statement arrives

Oh, please don’t make me have to go to the doctor - cause I’m just so afraid it’ll break us for good

So now I just trust my atherosclerosis, high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity and COPD to the Lord

I’m so stressed over my overdue treatment bills that I cant quit smoking or get off the Oxy, just yet

It’s just that TV says getting 1 stitch for a little cut costs like $4000 at the hospital - Oh shyte!

The kids ask me all the time about what dentists are for and where do people go to get those glasses

Thought I retired early without any debt but now I got this $1500/mo health insurance ARM mortgage

Workers get free, untaxed healthcare benefits but I cant even write off my after tax $ premiums…

The administrators cant even tell me if I’ll be covered til it’s over - but I am responsible if it’s not

To them it was just a minor medical coding error, but it completely ruined my credit rating for years

Anyways, our neighbor went to the hospital, picked up some superbug and never came home again

But, we’re lowering our expenses by decreasing the doses on all of our costly, lifesaving medications

I hearda this Affordable Care Act & I’ll tell ya, it looks a whole lot better than that dam Obamacare

And now with this gov’t healthcare takeover them freeloaders are takin up alla our doctors time

If I can just get on disability after unemployment, medicaid’ll kick in until I get on medicare at 65

Why, I might even consider startin some kina st00pid exercisin pogrom just ta save on medical bills

But no, I’m not givin up my place in the doublemeat drivethru fer no lameass kale & tofu sandwich

I can’t believe the nice doctor cut off my cancer treatments…just as soon as they bankrupted me