Oh Yeah, It’s Gods Will All Right

"God works in mysterious ways His wonders to perform."

There is a reason they walk barefoot thru muddy, trash-paved streets lugging tainted drinking water

Those devastated by huge floods can take heart knowing their suffering is all part of His greater plan

Of course there’s meaning to lives snuffed out without any dignity by failing trains, and rolling buses

Totally bereft earthquake victims can take solace in the fact that it all has a purpose and a meaning

Mothers of suicide bombers are comforted knowing their boys relax with 72 virgins “up” in paradise

The mass extinction we are causing is but a small part of the inscrutable will of our all-knowing God

Why only the greedy and sociopathic arise to lead us shall be revealed in the full richness of time

My diabetes, hypertension, atherosclerosis and COPD are but tiny pieces in an infinitely large picture

That billions must struggle just to survive on a dollar a day is but a small part of a beautiful mystery

The apparent emptiness of lives ended in filthy nursing home helplessness and fear is an illusion

Their targeting innocent schoolgirls with AK-47s and suicide vests will actually make sense in the end

There’s no need to be concerned that our ordained fruitful multiplication devastates this tiny planet

There is rhyme and reason in using bulldozers to bury mutilated corpses of the collaterally damaged

Our treating of the beasts of the fields as bulk factory raw material inputs requires no justification

Dying forests, drying rivers and spreading deserts are hints from an infinite incomprehensible wisdom

Smothering in O.D.’d vomit, cold, wet and dirty in a garbage-strewn alley is simply one isolated clue

He has led them to forsake scientific research to instead build complex, yet flawed financial scams

It’s God’s Will that his messengers on earth seduce children & perform sodomy, though both are sins

Killing for peace should not be a cause for confusion in our hearts - as will someday be made clear

Why our omnipotent God needs to test us though he already knows all results, stays beyond our grasp

We can only solve His cosmic riddle regarding our existence with a blind leap into deep religious faith

Certainly there is no need to question why He chose only us as His exceptional people on this earth

There is a hidden purpose to my watching football 16 hours a week and discussing stats another 10

He has a plan for the homeless so I ignore them daily and besides, I tithe weekly at my mega-church

God won’t command me to recycle and Jesus never preached of lowering consumption or energy use

Meddling with divine climate change is actually an act of human arrogance, far too full of our hubris

He commands we topple evil regimes which are actually the bedeviled client states of His false gods

It’s God’s will that those recruiting suicide bombers remain alive to gather new martyrs for His glory

Don’t fret over why my child chews lead-based paint chips while yours lives 99.9% bacteria free

There’s a far deeper meaning to blowing up occupied girls schools than it is now ours to be privy to

Mother’s lying senseless in her own wastes for many years of dementia must not sway our deep faith

With His silent pre-approval they scan our vapid tweets, texts, emails, cell calls and facebook posts

Under his plan I segued seamlessly from unemployment to disability and thence to my social security

That He chose lives of ignorance, poverty and suffering for them but not me is not mere random fate

So you see, we don’t have to ask why we alone are the entitled and exceptionist people of this world

We can sleep peacefully knowing that it’s all simply a small part of God’s perfect and mysterious plan

Wrong But Real, Right But Imaginary

No one should perish in shocking and horrible trauma but, realistically, that will never stop occurring

Lives of exemplary sacrifice must certainly find their reward, but throughout history, they have not

We seem genetically programmed to make sense of things tho far too often there is none to be found

Cruel dictators should justly be punished in the end, but mostly they die peacefully, in their sleep

Keepers of the true faith should not be financially and sexually corrupt, but that will never change

We put off many things until we have more time but, guess what: They will remain forever undone

No innocent child should suffer cruelly from a malignancy, but it is statistically certain that she will

It seems like all men should be created equal yet it will always be, but for His grace that, There I go

Its unquestionably wrong that our seniors are targeted for scams but someone’s always ready to do it

Clearly those who take care of themselves should enjoy long healthy lives, yet often they die young

Our minds evolved to seek reason and meaning in all events, but then god works in mysterious ways…

Corporate success should require higher moral standards, but most top CEOs are empty sociopaths

Those in positions of trust and control must never violate their charges, yet it only happens every day

No one denies that the elderly should be stores of wisdom but we simply discard them as irrelevant

It’s not right for us to mortgage our children’s futures on temporary pleasures but we just can’t stop

The rich should find comfort in their wealth, but only getting richer satisfies them – and just briefly

You shouldn’t treat your mother and sisters as saints and all other women as whores, but you do!

Certainly virtue must be its own reward but all too often that reward is simply poverty and scorn

Amoral greed should not be a prerequisite to financial success, but you need only look up the ladder

Years of allegiance to some sports franchise should be rewarded by a championship: That was a joke

Good products should not require lies and exaggeration to sell but since everybody else does it…

Assuredly lives of pious and long-suffering poverty yield a place in God’s house. Right...sure they do

Darling little boys would never torture kittens but guess what…they also mature into mass shooters

Noble scientists do not fudge data or results but BigPharma studies are quite often rigged in advance

Banks shouldnt hedge against deliberately bad funds they sell to their clients, but they’ll do it again

Happiness should be independent of phony marketing media stereotypes but, sadly for us, it is not

Religion should never be used to rationalize hatred and violence, however, that’s what they all do

The rains should come and the snows should fall but depressingly, now we see it’s not true anymore

Hungry gold miners should never poison the land with mercury but still...It is the cheapest way

Newborn fawns should get a chance to get on their feet, yet if a predator should see them…

Bankruptcy must not be a way to more easy credit but just take a look at your moocher neighbors

We like to think we’ll live happily ever after but often we die very soon after our forced retirement

It’s not fair that women cannot preach while abstinent priests enjoy each other and their choir boys

The blessed free market should prevent demand-driven extinctions but instead that’s what it fosters

You should have time for the important things you’ve always put off but most die senile and drugged

The evil and immoral is often the reality while the moral, good and right is just a snowflake’s tale

Unimpaired By Reason

Unfettered by faith from review, our decisions are secure on a foundation of media-created tradition

Unimpaired by reason, we are fully capable of swallowing any form of urban myth or country legend

Our progress remains unimpeded by any of their cooked and contradictory, whatever recent findings

Likewise, our kids move forward unscathed by the sinful brainwashing of a broken education system

We remain unattracted to that failed eurosocialist nannying - so long ago proven an abject failure

Assured that their real agenda never changes, we stand unsullied by their omnipresent fake news

Unencumbered by crippling introspection we proceed purposefully upon a safe, faith-based itinerary

With thick blinders of belief, we unflinchlingly ignore the satanism of evil progressive disinformation

Actions and morals dictated by the good book, our fat & happy lives are unfazed by any uncertainty

Enlightened as to the depravity of junk science we thrive, absolutely unblemished by that fuzzy math

Unaltered by their vast global media conspiracy we stand firm by our own unbiased TV social analysts

Unhampered by doubt as to the righteousness of our cause, we march on with total clarity of purpose

Protected by our rhino-like armor of faith, we are unscarred by their fatally-proud, secular doctrine

Unconstrained by guilt over past decisions we never need perform amoral and spineless flipflopping

Untrammeled by overreaching rationality, we see right through their fantasy facts and fudged figures

Unrestrained by responsibility to mere objectivity, we create news to support our sponsors’ agendas

Unaffected by bad science, we out politically-spawned research hoaxes with angry opinion pieces

Unweakened by going into depth on the issues, we maintain a healthy suspicion of all those who do

Shouldering the exceptionist role granted us by our creator, we remain unswayed by BS UN statistics

Unconvinced by their amoral logic we commend ourselves to colorful soundbites of our HD clarifiers

Marinated in faith beyond any debate, we stand tall, unperturbed by His mysterious contradictions

Unmotivated to strain learning new work skills we await the Outsourcers’ promise of good new jobs

Pointedly unimpressed by lame foreign cultures we loudly emit a just contempt at their fool customs

We remain unconfused by ignoring the conflicting and bogus false choices of that elitist conspiracy

Unanimated by calls for sustainability, we proudly cleave to our traditional takeout family values

Adhering to folkways deployed long ago in the late 20^th century, we stand untroubled by new findings

Our spirits are unbroken despite their constant flow of exaggerated tweets, half-truths and total lies

Unawed by criminal over-complication, we steadfastly cling to the plain and simple, black and white

Looking right thru them, we remain unmoved by the less fortunate as we pass by them every day

Untouched by shrill calls to some limp green future, we patriotically partially consume...and discard

Simply refusing to listen to their fabrications we prosper unscathed by doubt-producing contradiction

Undiminished by philosophical progress, we cling tightly to our stale faith and its hollow traditions

We stride untraumatized by data overload thanks to our scripted purveyors of conservative pabulum

Unsatisfied with mere probabilistic experimental results we rely on self-selected Word interpreters

Our great need for armed personal protection remains undeterred by occasional shooting rampages

Undaunted by that Great Recession, we know this is still ThE Greatest Country On The Planet

Win Bigly With Us

Believe Me..

I’ll more easily slip the tough questions with soundbites and offer up fewer specifics on real problems

I bet I would convince more boys to blow themselves up to go to heaven as I remain alive, by His will

Sure, I could beat widely distributing a nutrition-free, melamine-laced chalk mixture as baby formula

Hey, I would double bar those factory fire doors so them lazy bastards couldn't sneak out for breaks

Of course I’d hire better lawyers so I could make more money than they did selling poisoned tobacco

I’d cancel more benefits in bankruptcy but my own golden parachute would remain forever inviolate

Absolutely, we’d focus harder on fighting cleanup costs than controlling our environmental impact

I’d never mention once the 500,000 collateral dead in my preemptively-defensive war of liberation

I’d get richer pimping a fictional eternal heaven I sell them for their promise of the souls I invented

I would better over-estimate savings and hide the true costs of my donor’s legislative initiatives

I can waltz right by my poverty-stricken brothers faster than you do, without even noticing at all

I’ll commit more surplus lives, not worth as much as my own family’s, to futures without healthcare

I’ll more pointedly ignore our mass extinction and demand Traditional Family Values™ even louder
You just watch me read canned speeches more stirringly, more to my poll benefit, after tragic events

I am quicker to justify throwing acid in any wife’s face if she offends Allah or my side of the family

I can hold up the EPA as the most wasteful of freedom-stealing jobkillers better than any of my rivals

I can demand more of their deaths should they defile our holy book with improper storage or disposal

Watch me sell parents on sacrificing children to my blind vanity more slickly than the last demagogue

For a bonus, I’ll shed workers and renege on their benefits far faster than other furtive execu-clones

I know I could kill more unbelievers via divine justice than the puny numbers they still boast about

I could find even more efficient, certainly less humane, ways to put good red meat on family tables

I would more proficiently solve the Geriatric Problem in order to save working folks some real money

My encouragement of proudly ignorant subjects to have lots of kids will have more divine backing

I’ll make outsourcing design, production and support for huge bonuses appear to be twice as patriotic

I could siphon off an even larger percentage of foreign aid to myself and my corrupt and evil cronies

I would further unfetter the free market to solve overblown issues like mining and industrial wastes

To promote peace, I would permit the sale of shock & awe weapons to any dictatorship supporting us

We would set up self-immolation stations so more terrorists can safely make a fiery last statement

I’ll cast secret spying on our citizens in a light that will make them beg to give up their privacy

I’d have them sofa-cheering louder for debt-financed, costly and immaterial, bipartisan compromises

Under me, they’ll poll even higher on environmental issues while singing ‘Drill Baby Drill’ ever louder

I promise to repeat, omit and distort better so they’ll believe they’re an exceptional, chosen people

I’ll really show what compassionate conservatism is all about even if the sinners dont know lord jesus

We’ll float even more ludicrous but temping quick fixes to problems nobody really wants to tackle

I’ll sell more lost girls into prostitution and little boys into drug-induced slaughter than my enemies

My donor’s lying, writer whores will make my opponent seem even more comically pathetic than me