Vainerabilities: The Vulnerabilities Of Vanity

He was this so-handsome man with the world at his fingertips, lots of money and boy what a charmer

She could have done anything but she just couldn’t resist racing out every time a camera appeared

Unable to admit he might have made a mistake he was forced to stay the course & never flip-flop

Her looks assured her that she deserved to be served the good life: Cars,clothes,jewels & McMansions

He failed at manual or intellectual labor but starred reading other’s speeches during big meetings

Being dressed fashionably was obviously her extreme priority…because other people would notice

His career & fame went off like a skyrocket but, as always, he just had to fondle one more bimbo

In the end, she fell into a fatal depression troweling on layers of makeup that could not hide her age

Sitting in his sports car with a young woman he did not feel like the wrinkled old fool in the rearview

She tried hard not to notice the liver spots crowding in on her pounds of expensive jewelry

The only time he professed ignorance was when his minions were caught performing his illegal orders

They both knew they were different, and a cut above the oh-so ordinary masses bred to serve them

He found it very satisfying to have waiters, servants & administrative assistants fawning upon him

He designed a giant vacation home they never used that was so hideous his estate could not sell it

Every one of the many cars he owned always had to be cleaned and shined religiously - By others

She knew for sure that everyone was looking at her as they graced the toney shopping streets

Happiness was seeing themselves properly projected on some media or another for all to see

They never really had time to study others except those rivals who got more attention than they did

He’d lend his name to most any charity so long as he got top billing in the slick advertising campaign

The ForSale signs at all her listings simply had to give over the most space to her frozen botox smile

When they finally arrested him he had already wasted his swindled millions on vapid faux-luxuries

She knew that they were both above and outside of most laws, which were obviously meant for losers

He loved that feeling of importance having an expensive lawyer as his mouthpiece to the crowds

They enjoyed sipping champagne in their firstclass seats watching as the cattle crowd slowly boarded

He fondled his combover between every sales call as he checked his winning smile in the mirror

It was obvious to her that the pursuit of happiness meant her winning at any cost to her opponents

He needed that bonus more than the employees he laidoff and outsourced to get it could ever grasp

But, way too shortly after finally filling his 19 car garage, that gnawing emptiness began once again

She enjoyed having men lust after her as she passed by gazing haughtily away, her nose held high

They both lovingly maintained deep tans despite all those FDA warnings they very smirkingly ignored

She felt so attractive in high heels she wore them until she couldn’t walk normally at all, anymore

He was the one they always counted on to charm cranky widows into investing heavily with their firm

They were quite miffed when police officers disregarded their tantrums and simply handcuffed them

Their children were mere props in their photo-essay, quickly handed back to domestics with accents

But you see, it wasn’t their fault, for they had been praised & coddled since birth for their looks

Surely they couldn’t be blamed for feeling entitled given all the little people holding doors for them?

Avoid These Polite Conversation Killers

If you can’t say something politically correct, just say something totally inconsequential…

You just shut up about ‘Yes, We Can’ actually being just one more ad man’s empty campaign slogan

We won’t even discuss the omissions, misrepresentations and lies that already cost over a $Tr in Iraq

Nobody wants to hear about fixing corpro-agriculture if it might cost them any extra at all for Doritos

Just don’t mention that ThE Greatest Country on ThE Planet only leads the Undeveloping World

Where’s a benefit to facing the fact that your kids future clearly is not nearly as bright as yours was?

Who’s going to worry much about that climate change scam Republican leaders know is pure BS?

Shushup over exporting a temporary glut of fracked natural gas, again with no plan for when its gone

We’ll stifle statistics that the poor & ignorant are wildly outbreeding ye of the educated middle class

You cannot say: Our Natives & Blacks must have issues if they can be held down for so long - So easily

Only a traitor would dare speak out against outspending the next 20 countries combined on dEfense

Thou shalt not speculate that victims of the obesity plague might shoulder any personal responsibility

It’s political suicide to admit that we must all pay higher taxes and get less benefits just to scrape by

Don’t even whisper of the insurance & drug industry deals cut to get that Obamacare shoved thru

You just wont get away with demanding childbearing licenses as well as requiring two parent families

Dont bring up the false promises of the good new jobs of tomorrow made when they outsourced us

Stop calling their dogma of eternal GDP growth just another fairytale, too-big-to-fail, pyramid scam

Dont discuss how doctors can make $400/hr up til age 80 but you have to be <30 to code a stupid app

Its off topic to ask why top corpro rungs are only for furtive one-track shoulder-climbing psychopaths

Never ever, even whisper that sainted Israel practices what the Nazis did to them on the Palestinians

Don’t ask how we actually have a vibrant, structurally sound economy with 20% of us on food stamps

We won’t even calculate business losses resulting from promotions based solely on affirmative action

Better not go around belittling football and all of its brainwashed, bacon & beer-loving worshipers

You won’t hear how the Wall Street banks got way too much bigger to fail again, so forget about that

Theres no need to broadcast that cable, internet and cell service cost more here than anywhere else

Politicians hope you wont notice they work 2½ days/week in Washington and go fund-raising the rest

We’ll never debate whether holiday shopping isn’t one of thE most important news stories every year

Our right to uber-loud fireworks, jake-brakes, pickups and harleys is rightly not even under scrutiny

Shut up and hold the door for them as they go home early again, for their kids - with their equal pay

So, you think that the main problem with the education system is parenting? Don’t you dare go there

We’ll simply ignore the increasing Jihadi activity going on from Morocco all the way over to Indonesia

Nobody wants to talk low-priority issues like economic sustainability, much less habitat preservation

Who the hell cares if our landfills overflow with valuable recyclables marinating in our toxic wastes?

No, you shouldnt finally tell them that they’re not really very special, even though they all got prizes

Can’t label those leeching seamlessly from unemployment to disability to social security as moochers

How dare you even dream of a support group just for displaced white men? You racist, Nazi pervert!

Mustn’t voice the heresy that Christianity is as dogmatic, wornout & irrelevant as that tired socialism

Wrong But Real, Right But Imaginary

No one should perish in shocking and horrible trauma but, realistically, that will never stop occurring

Lives of exemplary sacrifice must certainly find their reward, but throughout history, they have not

We seem genetically programmed to make sense of things tho far too often there is none to be found

Cruel dictators should justly be punished in the end, but mostly they die peacefully, in their sleep

Keepers of the true faith should not be financially and sexually corrupt, but that will never change

We put off many things until we have more time but, guess what: They will remain forever undone

No innocent child should suffer cruelly from a malignancy, but it is statistically certain that she will

It seems like all men should be created equal yet it will always be, but for His grace that, There I go

Its unquestionably wrong that our seniors are targeted for scams but someone’s always ready to do it

Clearly those who take care of themselves should enjoy long healthy lives, yet often they die young

Our minds evolved to seek reason and meaning in all events, but then god works in mysterious ways…

Corporate success should require higher moral standards, but most top CEOs are empty sociopaths

Those in positions of trust and control must never violate their charges, yet it only happens every day

No one denies that the elderly should be stores of wisdom but we simply discard them as irrelevant

It’s not right for us to mortgage our children’s futures on temporary pleasures but we just can’t stop

The rich should find comfort in their wealth, but only getting richer satisfies them – and just briefly

You shouldn’t treat your mother and sisters as saints and all other women as whores, but you do!

Certainly virtue must be its own reward but all too often that reward is simply poverty and scorn

Amoral greed should not be a prerequisite to financial success, but you need only look up the ladder

Years of allegiance to some sports franchise should be rewarded by a championship: That was a joke

Good products should not require lies and exaggeration to sell but since everybody else does it…

Assuredly lives of pious and long-suffering poverty yield a place in God’s house. Right...sure they do

Darling little boys would never torture kittens but guess what…they also mature into mass shooters

Noble scientists do not fudge data or results but BigPharma studies are quite often rigged in advance

Banks shouldnt hedge against deliberately bad funds they sell to their clients, but they’ll do it again

Happiness should be independent of phony marketing media stereotypes but, sadly for us, it is not

Religion should never be used to rationalize hatred and violence, however, that’s what they all do

The rains should come and the snows should fall but depressingly, now we see it’s not true anymore

Hungry gold miners should never poison the land with mercury but still...It is the cheapest way

Newborn fawns should get a chance to get on their feet, yet if a predator should see them…

Bankruptcy must not be a way to more easy credit but just take a look at your moocher neighbors

We like to think we’ll live happily ever after but often we die very soon after our forced retirement

It’s not fair that women cannot preach while abstinent priests enjoy each other and their choir boys

The blessed free market should prevent demand-driven extinctions but instead that’s what it fosters

You should have time for the important things you’ve always put off but most die senile and drugged

The evil and immoral is often the reality while the moral, good and right is just a snowflake’s tale

Vapidly Miraculous Despoilers

    “We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think that it is forever.” – Carl Sagan

100 trillion living cells in every amazing human body but he’s fixated on beer and next Friday night

Beautiful clouds and unimaginably faroff stars overhead yet shes focuses strictly on how fat she looks

There’s this gentle rain on a velvet night and we just squawk over some vapid reality show or another

That wondrous clotting cascade stops our bleeding, even as we suffocate in a sea of puerile tweets

That bio-electro cardiac miracle sustains us, though we mindlessly clog it with a factory food sludge

A marvel of evolutionary adaptation attending only to his clean pickup, upskirts and getting off work

Billions of neuronal connections process football gangstas in sexy tights smashing into each other

Our most gifted toiling only to create new methods of mass destruction for the inevitable next war

Esteemed and honored legislators blindly minding voter polls as they sales-emote canned soundbites

The Best and Brightest self-reduced to ginning complex but flawed algorithms for greedy bankers

Working and scheming 80 hours a week just to leverage an even more hyper-ostentatious McMansion

The incredible tech that forces long lives of exemplary courage upon those otherwise already dead

That gruesomely fascinating Gulf dead spot the size of Massachusetts at the anus we call NewOrleans

Pondering the incredible high-speed tech that allows us to stream kitty videos in HD - as we drive

The wonder of our 250 cable satellite channels out of which 2 blare 24x7 at nobody, for $200/month

There’s that new hi-tech surgical procedure that added several weeks to Mom’s life for only $196,500

Behold vast, complex conglomerates: Laser-focused on more profitably pushing sugar, fat and salt

As we destroy natural systems making life possible, we obsess over immaterial & petty social issues

Physicists sense 14 billion y/o events as we cling to the faded, dusty frills of long irrelevant religions

Millions of drunken sperm pursue another unwed teen’s miracle egg into multi-generational poverty

Hot wind wastes a momentary rainbow of million year old fossil water over BigAg GMO crop circles

Small brown men with large chainsaws deconstruct the climax rain forest, one ancient tree at a time

Unforeseen and toxic reactions amongst thousands of industrial chemicals occur – Inside our bodies

Meticulous and understated scientific research is satirically dismissed by amoral industry lobbyists

A massively-expensive creative force exists to push 10 mpg Ram Tough Hemis on apartment cowboys

Lawyers spend years mastering legal intricacies merely to act as parasites fighting over injured hosts

The state of the entire planet and its people simplified to poorly-estimated GDP & unemployment %s

The wonderwork of cosmology overshadowed by dusty and archaic religions based upon stale dogmas

Metaphysics ground and chunked into greasy 140 character bites, all of a wet pet food consistency

Spinning with the earth, orbiting the sun around the Milky Way, but dwelling only upon office slights

Adroitly and constantly ignoring the onrushing eternal and infinite void to which we all must return

Happily parroting movie lines, ad jingles and sports stats to each other to cover the terrifying silence

Cloaked in chinese cosmetics and clothes, her carefully died blond life justifies our boys sacrifices

Remote sensing comfort or profit, these marvels of evolutionary success roam the suburban steppes

Rainbow-hued pools of toxic chemicals hypnotize passing children, safe in their mother’s SUV pouch

The vapid tries to smother the wondrous, striving to defy the cosmos: With a loud & proud ignorance