Keepin Our Priorities Straight

Today, the country pays the price for the left-wing ideologies that ran rampant in the 20th century – The American Conservative

Not wastin no funds like rebildin old bridges, failin sewers, bad roads, lektrik grids & water supplies

Gotta shove them illegales back without no amnesty but I sure aint gonna go pick that gotdam brocolli

Aint inerested in hearin about like shattered ecasystems cause they ain’t hurt me none at all

But orchestrated celebrity wardrobe malfunctions are definitely worth menshinin…quite often

Not even gonna consider their wacko BS bout some looming global fresh water shortage craptrap

Now, the threata gun control…That’s somethin we always gotta be perpetchile on alert for

You can jest STF-up yer fact-fudgin, elitist, global warmin power grab, ya traitrus libral snowflakes

But we do need ta hurryup & get them moochers off medicaid, unemploymint, foodstamps & disabilty

CorproAg dead soil, antibiotics, fertilizer & pesticide abuse, GMOs & water waste are jest irrevelent

Now then, let’s set down and talk foopbawl stats - and ax me how my fantasy league picks are doin

Yr bogus human-caused mass estintion is bout as critical ta me as the bugs smashed on my winshield

More importntly, I’m busy decidin shud I buy a new jetski, snowmachine, ATV, RV or a dirtbike next

The dignitya factory meat and the proper treatment of ther wastes aint no parta my buyin decisions

Damn straight we gotta stop teachin this unproven evilution over god’s absulute lawr of creationism

Aint no fairytale NewAge sustainabilly dopesmoke gonna affect my next vote, none at all, whatsoever

I do wanna know when them good jobsa tamarra they promised when they offshored us are comin in

Unending goverment shutdown crises are gonna earn us some real political victerys real soon now

Busides, the most important thing is ta make sure our libral enemies don’t get nethin done at all

We’ll take viralized soundbites over their shady and twisted so-called scientific satistics, anytime

Its vital ta spend more time studyin cell plans & credit card rates than on boring like retirement plans

I aint doin that wack reciclin crap unlest and until they start paying me ta do it - like they shud

Them quiet overpriced habrids are fer them meterosexuls and such. Me & my Ram-tough hemi rule.

That big shit called the Dead Spot the Mississippi takes with our toxins in the Guf aint on my radar

Leaders gotta talkta ther personal saviors when makin such decsions as liberatin them evil califates

The healtha this country aint measured by the cunditiona them convenient sewers, AKA our rivers

Everbudy knows that like GDP and the Unemployment numbers are the real measuresa our progress

Mountain top removal and power plant mercury emissions aint rightly parta any bill fer coal-fired A/C

Chicken crap from squeezed producers that’s killin chesapeake bay oysters don’t even matter to me

Jest cuz u caint go swimmin or eat the fish yer kids catch aint no reason ta get all like preturbed

Keepin in mind that this overpopelation myth flys right in the facea gods order ta go out and multiply

Gotta get ridda socialist entitlements cuz they just stimulat them multi-generational welfare queens

We got no use fer this dam obamacare cuz we already get our healtcare fer free - Down to the ER!

Absulutly hafta get the gumint outta our biness but sniffin at all them emails, tweets & shit: A-OK!

It’s a sure thing that if it takes a collige dugree ta read it, it just aint worth knowin about enaway

Don need no gov’t nannyin on what ta eat and specially not ther lame meddlin junk about exercisin

Jest keep them 12 candy, salty snack & frozen treat aisles…and get that freerange shit outta my way

Oh Yeah, It’s Gods Will All Right

"God works in mysterious ways His wonders to perform."

There is a reason they walk barefoot thru muddy, trash-paved streets lugging tainted drinking water

Those devastated by huge floods can take heart knowing their suffering is all part of His greater plan

Of course there’s meaning to lives snuffed out without any dignity by failing trains, and rolling buses

Totally bereft earthquake victims can take solace in the fact that it all has a purpose and a meaning

Mothers of suicide bombers are comforted knowing their boys relax with 72 virgins “up” in paradise

The mass extinction we are causing is but a small part of the inscrutable will of our all-knowing God

Why only the greedy and sociopathic arise to lead us shall be revealed in the full richness of time

My diabetes, hypertension, atherosclerosis and COPD are but tiny pieces in an infinitely large picture

That billions must struggle just to survive on a dollar a day is but a small part of a beautiful mystery

The apparent emptiness of lives ended in filthy nursing home helplessness and fear is an illusion

Their targeting innocent schoolgirls with AK-47s and suicide vests will actually make sense in the end

There’s no need to be concerned that our ordained fruitful multiplication devastates this tiny planet

There is rhyme and reason in using bulldozers to bury mutilated corpses of the collaterally damaged

Our treating of the beasts of the fields as bulk factory raw material inputs requires no justification

Dying forests, drying rivers and spreading deserts are hints from an infinite incomprehensible wisdom

Smothering in O.D.’d vomit, cold, wet and dirty in a garbage-strewn alley is simply one isolated clue

He has led them to forsake scientific research to instead build complex, yet flawed financial scams

It’s God’s Will that his messengers on earth seduce children & perform sodomy, though both are sins

Killing for peace should not be a cause for confusion in our hearts - as will someday be made clear

Why our omnipotent God needs to test us though he already knows all results, stays beyond our grasp

We can only solve His cosmic riddle regarding our existence with a blind leap into deep religious faith

Certainly there is no need to question why He chose only us as His exceptional people on this earth

There is a hidden purpose to my watching football 16 hours a week and discussing stats another 10

He has a plan for the homeless so I ignore them daily and besides, I tithe weekly at my mega-church

God won’t command me to recycle and Jesus never preached of lowering consumption or energy use

Meddling with divine climate change is actually an act of human arrogance, far too full of our hubris

He commands we topple evil regimes which are actually the bedeviled client states of His false gods

It’s God’s will that those recruiting suicide bombers remain alive to gather new martyrs for His glory

Don’t fret over why my child chews lead-based paint chips while yours lives 99.9% bacteria free

There’s a far deeper meaning to blowing up occupied girls schools than it is now ours to be privy to

Mother’s lying senseless in her own wastes for many years of dementia must not sway our deep faith

With His silent pre-approval they scan our vapid tweets, texts, emails, cell calls and facebook posts

Under his plan I segued seamlessly from unemployment to disability and thence to my social security

That He chose lives of ignorance, poverty and suffering for them but not me is not mere random fate

So you see, we don’t have to ask why we alone are the entitled and exceptionist people of this world

We can sleep peacefully knowing that it’s all simply a small part of God’s perfect and mysterious plan

That Whatever Nonsense Recompense

    That which compensates for an injury…

Useless desert fish, tiny spotted owls and ugly boreal toads wont be winning any damages, not ever

For courts have held that jobs and money trump the natural infrastructure that allows both to exist

Thus, nobody will be liable for the wonderful progress that has made our fair land what it is today

So plead not for a false recompense from those who act as his His divinely-ordained good stewar

***

They caint hold me responsible fer the filthiness of the rivers so briefly at His profit-minded mercy

Jesus aint gonna turn us away from them pearly gates fer like envirmental degredation, ya know

I don’t need no liability insurance ta exercise my god-given right tatha pursuita individyul happiness

They caint ever come after me fer carin more about my pickup than their wack sustainabilly crack

No sir, wild animals got no more justice comin than such as our cow, pig and chicken factory inputs

Nobodys gettin in any trouble fer spendin years glued ta good old foopbawl on the latest bigscreen

Theys no punisment comin cause you ran up a miyon$ charge fer fastfood hypertension and diabetus

You wont havta pay fer the damage and injury ur drug habits didta ur fatherless, bred-fer-prison kids

You wont be getting billed fer overfertilizin or mixin toxics with reciclables in ur overflowin trash can

Stay kickd back in ur exceptionist easy chair cause ur already pre-approved fer a good seat in heaven

Relax, polar bears aint bringin no class action suits and nobody’s goin ta jail fer lame climate change

We aint grantin slum kids no miyons fer they smog-induced asthma and lead-caused brain damage

All them extermenated indians aint gettin nothin just cuz they got up in the waya r manyfest destiny

And them jews’ll just be lucky if they dont get turned on fer like the 50^th time, again, real soon now

Them too weak ta raise they voices will be heaped higher wif injusteces, on out to the event horizon

We gotta keep movin forward so you wont see no disgraced former leaders ever brought to justice

Dyin butterflies and bees aint got no public defenders or prosecutin attorneys overta ther side

Wont be no disaster aid comin toanya god’s cretures who lost ther homes on them dyin coral reefs

Who you gonna petition fer relief from the vast swarmsa precious humans just wantin the good life?

Nobody’s liable fer destroyin that livin envirnment that makes alla r triviel pursuts even possible

No patriotic cleancoal lobbyist’ll be fined fer workin hard ta save traditional families jobs and money

Wont nobody be sued when ther aint no more fossil water left tabe sucked outta them aqwefers

Thaint no fund set aside ta compensate the future fer our wasteful and arrogantly-willful destruction

Aint gonna be no class action suits on behalfa victims athat mass extinction we’re so blindly perpin

That illegal World Court cant rule that r overpopulation is the only problem that we really shud solve

Honest citizens wont be gettin no bills for soil destruction and deforestation or pesticide abuse

Nobody’s representin ocean plankton doomed to eat our microplastic litter thats fillin up they homes

Bangaledeshis wont have recourse or insurance when ther land is warshed away by risin sea levels

The gumint aint gonna pay out for lettin miyonsa lives be rooined jist ta get more alcohol tax money

Overpaid doctors wont be brought to justice fer pushing hi-tech procedures over simple pervention

Wont be no CEO bonus clawbacks fer offshorin research, production and support ta raise stock prices

& nobodys gonna bring suit aginst us on behalf of the grandkids whose lives we have impoverished

Hail The Anthropocene Era

Shortest geologic era on record, marked by a mass extinction due to human activity. AKA the Cretinaceous period.

Our consumer trends create market-driven conditions to which a species must either adapt: Or perish

We even act as if we can decide which life forms will survive based on whether we need or like them

Our micro-plastic litter shards have become an inert part of the food chain in every ocean on earth

And we can all ask in one talkinghead voice: What has any stinkin polarbear ever done for my family?

Our genetically-modified mono-cropped food plants drive evolution in the lifeforms we label as pests

Today, we tacitly agree that a sustainable environment is whatever remains after our latest progress

Industry assures us that we humans are immune from the otherwise toxic effects of their activities

We cannot not be constrained by divisive quarrels over irrelevant history, for we must move forward

The axiom that mere grasping self-interest optimizes everyone’s future anchors our economic beliefs

Clear skies, clean water and intact ecosystems are infinite free goods that must never be regulated

Tough pests and scraggly weeds near our fields are the new normal in plant and animal assemblages

Burying valleys in mountain-top coal mine slag merely emulates natural earthquakes and volcanoes

Dams and clearcuts select the strongest of those decimated salmon in our warmed and silted rivers

Bidding up prices on those few remaining bluefin tuna demonstrates marketplace species protection

Total species count and individual numbers decrease in direct proportion to our population increases

Extending our protection to lands, plants or animals declines with their short-term profit potential

Why, we all help alter the entire earth’s climate daily - simply by using electricity, driving and eating

And we may choose to decry, ignore, disbelieve or honor these efforts based on religion and politics

Many among us would call this era the Saviorscene as all our efforts are, of course, divinely-ordained

Habitat destruction is but one more evolutionary hurdle for the few surviving charismatic megafauna

Like a meteor strike, our population bloom stresses species - beneficially speeding up their evolution

Such as rats, cats, dogs, roaches and bedbugs profit briefly as well during our bubble-like ascendancy

Not only do we mortgage our futures but the slyest among us hedge against our very survival as well

An entitled greed is foremost among those Traditional Family Values™ that underpin our way of life

Any new chemical created may be spread freely until it’s proven to be harmful and explicitly banned

The best measure of human progress is GDP - Not biodiversity, sustainablility or habitat preservation

Modern culture venerates human life even as it destroys the very environment that makes it possible

The only necessary and sufficient condition to ensure our future is the pursuit of individual happiness

The best way to solve non-issues such as climate change is to innovate and profit from their effects

The current mass extinction is not human-caused and is just as natural as any of the previous five

A 3 ton SUV carapace is the ideal way for a human mother to shuttle her offspring about in safety

If Asians work toxic 16 hour shifts and sleep 20 to a room, clearly chickens cannot deserve too much

Blind faith in capitalism and trust in almighty God are our armor and sword in this battle for survival

Industry trade group soundbites are honest counterweights to cooked, elitist bad science research

Industrial self-regulation is the only real way to painlessly meet our Good Steward responsibilities

Know that this wondrous flowering of humanity doesn’t simply yield the seeds of its own destruction