Useless But Self-Serving Movers And Shakers

Take the man in charge of moving Krispy Kreme Doughnuts forward: In its sugar-filled, fat-laden glory

Think of the great challenges facing those climbing the sweet, black and caffeinated ladder at Coke

How do they keep their focus so sharp over at KFC, pushing the Colonels greasy pitch deep into China

Gaze upon that Captain of Industry at the helm of Frito-Lay pimping fat, sugar and salt in cellophane

How about realtors, omitting and misleading both buyers and sellers to their own greedy advantage

Or there’s always the brave Oreo management team struggling for more shelf space at kids eyelevel

Note as TooBigToFail CityBank fights for the freedom to secretly hedge against their very own funds

Observe as Dodge pushes 6 mpg Hemi Rams on not so bright yet proudly-ignorant apartment cowboys

Foreign-owned Budweiser advertises its highly-patriotic, factory-built swill as crisp and refreshing

Ya need to guzzle lotsa milk, given the unsubstantiated health claims and ignore their tortured cows

Don’t forget the $20/lb subsidized sugar and corn Honey Smacks your ad-washed kids just gotta have

Think of the TypeA execs stressing over new colors for the L’Eggs pantyhose smothering your crotch

They work hard over at Aquafina and Dasani to differentiate water for us - Using only labels and ads

Pizza Hut moves forward, shoveling more factory meat and hi-fat cheese sludge into our arteries

Smooth cosmetic surgeons tickle the middle-aged woman’s fancy with overpriced Mommy Makeovers

Admire that army of Big Tobacco lawyers that helped to push cancer sticks so profitably, for so long

Gaze upon this Nike shoe, made in the same asian sweatshop as Walmart’s but sold at 5x the price

Note how clearly they mouth Traditional Family Values™ to hide a fawning obedience to their donors

Consider how it’s our CIA spook’s patriotic duty to pruriently invade all yer privacy - in total secrecy

Think what’s in dog food imported from where they stretched their own baby formula with melamine

Then there’s that Pope, profiting on fear-driven faith with gay garb, tired dogma and stale traditions

Admire Fair and Balanced media, wildly profiting by angrily widening our people’s ideological gap

Enjoy the shit that’s so Lite and All-Natural you can feel good about being poisoned while getting fat

Honor those who provide you with spotty cell service for 200bucksa month in an airtight contract

Ignore that rich sponsors pay to spin you on only such as abortion, gun control and family values

Yes, you can! Believe in their Change - Just like alla them other greasy liars that came before them

Of course the government can’t make you eat broccoli - Even if you are already too ignorant not to

You aint payin fer obamacare but - You are paying for the moochers via your ever-higher premiums

Think of the brilliant chemists at Axe, toiling to get a hipster smell to waft from young, sweaty pits

How about those high paid lobbyists extolling Clean Coal at their expensive legislative-bribe dinners

You got Big Pharma picking and choosing which of their own paid research studies to use on the FDA

Of course Monsanto sues any soybean farmer whose crop happens to get RoundUp Ready, by accident

Look at good old Boeing artfully combining children, soft music and new bombers in institutional ads

Think you could keep a straight face pocketing your hefty bonus on higher sales athem toxic SlimJims

What a grand challenge to build a worse artery clogger than CarlsJR triple beef/bacon/cheese burger

Like us, our Olympic Unis are emblazoned ‘USA‘ on the outside but say Made In China on the inside