Have A Good Day, Fearless Leader!

Maybe they’ll realize your financial expertise costs too much and earns less than dumb index funds

I hope other clients find a simple legal form on the web & save $1500 avoiding your phony services

May they back out of that big deal after discovering your greedy omissions concerning the property

With a little luck they’ll uncover another extramarital affair and finally be able to get you voted out

It could be today that the IRS ends the faith-based con with which you finance your opulent lifestyle

I ask your god that a security camera catch you lustily fondling yet another frightened new choirboy

I can only hope that one of your over-ambitious underlings will rat out your corporate connivance

It’d be so bad if more email proving you knew everything & you lied got leaked by some geeky minion

It’d be nice to hear that your spoiled kid was arrested for drugs again - despite your TV editorializing

Was cheered hearing the tale of how your son rear-ended an SUV while texting his vapid little friends

Gosh, it’s too bad that they caught you plagiarizing your speeches…but for the third time in a year?

Feel so sad that now you cant avoid the media attention you strove so hard to get, all your pushy life

Like to see another hipster snicker snarkily and walk out on your tiredly-rigged car sales charade

May your mother get into futures trading and your sister buy the funds you created to hedge against

Wish I was there when you finally realize this is The New Normal and not just The Great Recession

So sorry to hear that your vitriolic right-wing rants were the product of your addiction to pain killers

Good luck with embracing diversity through curing gays, expelling illegals and demanding voter IDs

Keep up the planet-saving work to get us all to starve locally, stop driving and not heating our homes

Sorry to hear you corrupted your latest MSProject file right before your 0s0 important status meeting

Too bad your handicapped, gay woman of color boss is just a clueless, tenured but quota-filling bytch

Its very sad that you have to work even though you have such a bad hangover after another Big Game

What a shame they know you were just lying – You did not misspeak AND you were not misunderstood

Glad to hear you lost a suit for botching a golf-hurried, Mommie Makeover that you would not refund

Congratulations on achieving stardom and then turning into a fat, perverted & bankrupt drug addict

Pity that you’re braindead after years making millions smashing into other foopbawl juicers in tights

I fondly imagine you in yer ignorant-loud, jacked-up pickup headed out to where the jobs are -Texas!

Here’s to your coveted 18-49 year olds laughingly dissing your so 20^th century attempts to court them

We anxiously await for you 1%ers to pay as high a tax rate as your disappearing middle-class footmen

I’m so sorry your proud ignorance disqualifies you for the good jobs any chinese peasant could handle

It’s such a shame that your loud, apartment cowboy lifestyle pickup got repoed: Right outside the bar

What a good feeling to see that trooper write you up after you blasted past me yelling into yr cell

Wow, so your darling little girl snuck out and got a spike put in her tongue? My heartfelt condolences

EYuck! Cant stand how your once-conceited 17 y/o blond ass turned so fat, wrinkled & sun-damaged

It was a shame that your 11 y/o boy got paralyzed driving your souped-up ATV - without any helmet

It would hurt me to hear that your disability claim was denied even tho you always voted Republican

Hope to be around when your too big to fail finally turns into too costly to bail and you go to jail

Ties Suck

The Neckwear Association of America states, in the 1800s to touch another man’s tie was taboo and a catalyst for a duel

Why should I trust any of those fast-talking phonies sporting colorful new silk ties every day on TV?

Totally non-functional but costly suits are just the Unis CEOs wear to try and demand our respect

They spend so much time wearing makeup you’d think they were bubblehead office beauty queens

Reading statements in those lameass shiny leather shoes with hidden elevators should impress us?

Their practiced parrot of speeches written for them by their donors writers cant move me anymore

Reading bold plans, reciting fiery rhetoric and twisted press releases doesn’t make a man of action

In my lowlife world, everybody’s not all and only about some pathological need for public attention

Basing daily strategy on overnite polling and focus groups is not a part of my meaning of leadership

The thought of letting paid marketers mold my media personality to get votes makes me nauseous

Then even if you get elected, just to be seated, you must wear a monkey suit in their holy chamber

Sometimes they even loosen the ties, half roll up their sleeves - for staged foto-ops with real workers

And the mind-numbing soundbites they are cloaked with are cynically passed off as reasoned debate

Carefully-cultivated images serve merely to secure more donations for more ads to buy more votes

Those starched shirts must always be perfectly crisp and clean or it throws them off their sales pitch

Their swishy staff members spend hours on tie colors for the occasion: Now that's leading by example

Still, those guys are so insecure they just can’t keep from groping every bimbo coming within reach

Dressed for success yet quite unable to perform even the simplest real task beyond holding a glass

Yeah, power ties, for power brokers, movers and shakers: Anonymous yet furtively-savage rodents

Backstabbers with laser pointers, shoulderclimbers in shiny black wingtips, asskissers with $20K teeth

Going really casual in a dress shirt and suit coat – without a tie, for up to an hour at a time: Fearless

The security of real silk on his neck must surely keep a genuine leader focused on his donor’s agenda

Dumb me down some more until I see their clown costumes as solemnly as say, that gay papal regalia

Hey, that empty shit can’t intimidate any more, but it does identify - Like an orange prison jumpsuit

What other activities is a pricey three-piece suited for except canned speeches and ‘big’ meetings?

Oh, and their carefully planned odors – so meticulously applied after their real smells are cauterized

Yup, ties suck and anyone wearing one on a daily basis surely suffers from permanent brain damage

All you starched and programmed little roosters - At least dress like you could actually do something

There’ll be no more aura of respect generated by your costly finery, but here’s a caustic rejection

You! You ever try and drive a UPS truck or tear off a roof with a coat and tie on? No? I didn’t think so

You can’t walk on a shop floor with those slippery leather soles - So get out until you get some sense

Your very reason and imagination are constrained by the artificial stiffness of your stupid formal garb

And you do that willingly? Oh, I forgot, your handlers set out your clothes, just like your mommy did

Hey, you oughta try going to the unemployment office dressed in your strutting peacock TV getups

Yeah, they taught you about ginning undeserved respect by dressing funny back in law school, right?

Look, your personas are as fraudulent as your fairytale voter spin or your air-popped corporate videos

The frilly finery you must always wear now simply helps to publicly identify you - Like a Star of David