How it could be, out from
under their fredom smotherin elitist conspearacy
Everbodyd
be fingerin concealed weapons in all public places, lookin out ta
pincushion some shootr
That
overreachin EPA’d be jest a bad memory that caint hobble our
blessed family lifestyles no more
You
wutnt never hear no more fool harpin on the fictshunal evilsa
doublemeat bacon cheeseburgers
Gas’d
be an affordable $2 a gallon like it rightly auter be in a truly
freed-up dumestic energy market
Foopball
would last all year long and we won’t be dippin no brocolli or
carrots with our Doritas
Government
wouldn’t be subsidizin wimpy hybrids over gutsy diesel family
pickups no way - no more
We’d
give back stolen federal lands ta the people – big oil, real estate
men and ATV adventurers
Alla
our leaders’d make big decisions, like destroyin them islamic
fanatics, with ther saviours counsel
We’d
swap out their elementary school hands-on sex-ed manuals fer copysa
school prayers & bibles
A
free, unObamacared marketplace would see ta the healtha all
our people, with utmost efficiency
Wacko
protesters against such as mountain top removal coal mining would be
given firehose therapy
Dope
smokers’d be pilloried nexta neighborhood bars tabe spit on or
kicked by patriotic alcoholics
Boys,
that NPR & PBS’d be shutdown faster than you kin spout a single
Fair and Balanced soundbite
We’d
hustle the US outta that lame one world UN and get it way the
hell outta this fair land of ours
Our
borders would be secured but employers could still mistreat and cheat
throwaway illegal workers
The
gument’d get right outta the binessa species preservation,
pollution control & CO2 nonsense
Alla
them moochers’d be shoved off welfare, disablility, unemployment,
food stamps & medicaid
No
more ragging BS gov’t ads about cholesterol, diabetes, obesity,
exercise or blood pressure
Bush
& Cheney’d be right up there, on Mt Rushmore with Reagan and
Trump and them other heroes
We’d
sure enough end that lameass reinterduction and kill alla them
shittin wolves & grizzlies – agin!
All
of us’d get free rEfIs with lowered principal and interest
rates sos we kin tap some more equity
Them
spotted owls, blind desert pupfish and such crap would hafta adapt ta
progress or move out
That
sin of sodomy would be treated just like the bible says it should –
without no medical benefits
We’ll
all be filled with ignorant pride parrotin canned soundbites and
forwardin unquestioned tweets
Heroic
CEOS’ll bring in them good-payin jobsa tomorrow which they promised
when they offshored us
We’ll
all be kickin global warmin ass just by adjustin down our
patriotically coal-fired A/C units
Our
dEfense would finally be rebuilt after decades of cowardly peacenik
liberal decimation
Alla
them minorties would finally see how ther innerests line rite up with
old white republican men
They’d
be no more talk regardin the rightsa souless cows, pigs &
chickens ta whatever like dignity
That
silly reciclying nonsense would surely be just a funny memory, same
as them lame snowflakes
Everbody
will agree that there organic crap was just a spensiv, bad-tasting,
not-too-nutritious scam
We’ll
all recognize that clean water, air and shit are god-given rights
that don’t need no regelatin
That
Arab obama would not only be known as the worst president but he’ll
still be in jail fer treason
Wouldn’t
have ta worry bout them traiterous socialists getting they hands on
our medicare no more
Wont
hear no more talk about raisin taxes on the brave entrepeenurs who
create the jobs fer alla us
Private
inerprize’ll build any new roads, bridges, waterworks, sewers and
such what we may need
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